


Lights, Camera... Izaya?

by DarkTrappedDesire



Series: Trials of Love (Kasaya) [1]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: AU, Boy Love, Crossdressing, Eventual Romance, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-25
Updated: 2014-12-26
Packaged: 2018-02-22 14:32:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 36,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2511146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkTrappedDesire/pseuds/DarkTrappedDesire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It appears our Informant has found a couple new and interesting hobbies to do in his spare time, and just where will they lead him? Right to the stage or the silver screen, my friend!<br/>Warning: Contains BoyLove and a non-universal pairing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just A Simple Hobby

**Author's Note:**

> This story is currently being written and adjusted on FF.net, if you would like to contribute to this story or would like a look at newer chapters before anyone else on here sees them, go watch and leave a Review on this story here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10766894/1/Lights-Camera-Izaya

The raven smirked as he sat as his desk, waving Namie out the door for the day, seeing as she'd gotten tired of being pestered into making him mugs of coffee that he barely touched and let cool down in front of him to the point of him not wanting it anymore. It was nearly 8 pm and while he wasn't particularly tired enough to need coffee, he liked the taste and he had things to do that night, in exactly one hour in fact.

Seeing that Namie wasn't going to be coming back inside to ask him for something, probably her paycheck since that's all she cared about from him in particular, he stood up and went up the stairs towards his room, needing to get ready for his 'business meeting'. That's what he'd told his assistant when she had so kindly asked "what the fuck he was planning" for that night, at least. It was half true, he did have something going on but it wasn't a meeting, not in his description anyway. He was going to fulfill a new.. pass-time, per say. Maybe even two of them in one night if he felt up to it after this.

He stood in front of the mirror, looking himself over. It wasn't a big change, but it was enough. He has on his usual black, long-sleeved V-neck and, instead of his long black pants, he wore tight capris that were just as dark and went to just under his knees. His lucky jacket was now carefully wrapped around his waist to show off his feminine appearance and just under his left eye he had put a tiny, dark spot; a little fake mole, just for the hell of it. He'd brushed down his hair more than usual, instead of letting it be a bed-head all day, so it looked a half an inch longer than usual, and straight down at that, framing his equally as effeminate face.

All in all, he looked just like a woman, yet still like himself. It was shocking how such simple changes could give off a whole different side of him, and he smirked as he thought of so many ways he could use this to his advantage. He hummed lightly, seeing something that threw it off, and looked around a bit before he spotted some of Namie's lip-gloss that he'd taken from her purse a few days ago when he'd originally thought of doing this. Seeing as she hadn't yelled at him for being a thief yet, she most likely hadn't even noticed it was missing. He put it on and smiled as his lips were now a bit more pink, not being that pale and bland shade of his skin that could give away his actual gender.

Once that was settled, he grabbed a small hand-bag and threw in his fake ID of choice, then grabbed three of his cell-phones - not even a quarter of what he owned, mind you - and went out his front door. He would of grabbed more, but it was going to be late soon so he didn't expect many calls, and where he was going he didn't feel like being interrupted anyway. It would just irritate him and that wouldn't be good, though maybe it would be good for his current appearance... No, he would try to be pleasant when acting like this form of himself, at least at the beginning. Give them false hope of a good and cheery type.

After going on the metro, grabbing a taxi and finding the floor he was supposed to be on, the raven held a small script in his hands, running over the lines they had handed him and waited to be called in to the main room.

"Number 26?" a woman called, walking out the door with a clipboard and looking around the room. Izaya smiled softly and stood up, grabbing his bag again and heading inside with her, standing straight for the line of men in front of him. They all looked him over, most liking what they saw though one of them had a suspicious gaze instead of a lustful one. Maybe he already figured out my gender isn't up to par for this role? Oh well, there must be at least one intelligent gene in this pack of cynical dogs. The raven kept up his pleasant air and bowed to them, holding the script as if he was shy.

"Hello. My name is Kobayashi Karuha and I'll be auditioning for the role of the lead heroine." he announced, watching them nod in approval before he went to dazzle them with his voice and his body.


	2. Hello, Kobayashi

Izaya dropped his hand bag on the dresser, stretching his arms above his head loosely before flopping onto the bed that had been so perfect and neat before. He'd fix it tomorrow morning when he got up again. For now, he just felt like resting and admiring his handiwork. Even he was surprised how easy it was to look like this when he'd tried it days ago, feeling like he should see if his idea was possible before testing it out on the public. Well, it had definetly worked.

More than a few guys asked him for his attention on his way back home, and while he showed no interest, they did look pretty easy to fool.  _I should have asked one of them for their number. Then I could try getting a guy to throw himself off the building. Spice up things every now and then, ne~ Not that this isn't spicy enough.._

Before going to bed Izaya took a shower and discarded his female self for the time being, not wanting Namie to wake him up the next morning and find him being too obviously trans-gendered for her tastes and deciding to rat him out to his close 'friends'. More like Shizuo, his sisters and Shinra, who would all laugh their heads off and never let him forget about them knowing. He loved each and every one of them to death, some more than  _others *coughshizu-chancough*_ , but none the less he could only handle so much torment from each of them.

He laid his head to rest and just thought about what he would do if his audition got accepted in the end.

* * *

The ravenett was working on his laptop when he finally got a call on his cell-phone, and on one of his less used ones at that. It was a touch-screen and was a fine shade of blue, looking flashier than most of his flip phones. When he looked at the number it didn't look familiar, but in his job, who the fuck cares? He answered it and let out a greeting. "Moshi, moshi." he said cheerfully, his voice having a bit more of a trill than usual. He couldn't help if he was having a good day; getting three jobs at once and all of them  _coincidentally_ involving the exact same other persons who asked for his help was not a common treat for him. He would have lots of fun before these cases were done~

Nevertheless, Namie glanced at him for this and, not wanting to be watched like a hawk, he calmly stood up and went towards his kitchen as a refuge while he awaited the answer. "Moshi, moshi, our dearest Kobayashi." came his answer finally. In only a couple seconds he remembered his audition the week before and grinned to himself, bringing his voice back up a couple octaves to sound feminine.

"Hello, Mr. Watane. It's good to hear from you again." he replied, hoping Namie didn't hear him like this before reminding himself that he shouldn't care what his lovely-yet-shitty assistant thought of him and couldn't prove in any way. A small chuckle was heard on the other line.

"Good to hear from our new heroine, as well." he responded, making Izaya's smirk grow even wider. "In other words, you made the part! You were pretty impressive last week, so we hope you'll be that good on set when we get started on the 20th." the man continued, making Izaya glance at the calender posted on his chrome-fridge.  _'17th',_ it read in bold type, making him nod absently, just hoping that his boss wouldn't need him too often during all this. Of course this wouldn't be taking ALL of his time away from his lovely humans, and it wouldn't last forever, so his informant job will just be getting an hour-shortage for as long as this lasts.  _Hopefully not TOO long. If I have to go on tour for something I'll shoot someone. I'm supposed to observe_ them _, not the other way around._

"Thank you so much, Mr. Watane. Just give me the address and the time and I'll be there ready to get started." Izaya giggled, still trying to form what kind of full-time personality this side of him should have.  _I've been preppy for the last couple times I've talked to them.. Maybe that could be my get-up-and-go attitude, then after working for like an hour I'm neutral.. Yeah, that'll work. Smiling normally hurts after a while._ It was at that moment he realized his future 'boss' was speaking to him.

"It should be right around the corner from Ouko Ramen, really. Nice place, we should get lunch there when things are settled." the man offered, though he didn't let Izaya speak up again for him to repeat the address. "Anyway, remember. Stage 16, Ona Drive, 7 am. You got all that?" he asked, finally letting the ravenett respond.

"Yup, all of it~ I'll see you in three days then. Goodbye, Mr. Watane." he said, letting the other man hang up, seeing as that was normal 'business courtesy' as Shinra had tried to pound into his head during their student days. Poor bastard didn't know that Izaya would be getting a job that matched his personality anyway. Izaya shut off his phone before going back to his desk to finish the information gathering that he'd been doing just moments before.

And without him even looking away from the screen, he could tell Namie was glaring daggers at him. "What is it, dearest?" he drawled, still not casting her a glance.

"What the hell was with all that frilly talk, huh? You know, you could turn out to be even creepier than I thought." his assistant grumbled, still glaring at him as she muttered the second statement under her breath.

"Oh Namie, did I make you jealous that I don't talk to  **you**  that way?" he asked innocently, making her gag.

"No way, you freak. Just because you pay me doesn't mean I need to put up with all of that." she hissed, making Izaya snicker.

"Whatever you say, but you're still jealous in the end." And with that, various items that her purse contained were being thrown at a certain informants head while he worked. "You really need to work on your pitching aim, ne~?"

"Shut it, you freak!"


	3. I Work with Who?

Three days passed easily, the entire time he was continuing on as usual; go find information, ask around about the Dollars on his favorite forum, go outside for meetings and inevitably get chased around by Shizu-chan, then get fatty tuna from Simon and be on his way home, either to annoy Namie or just enjoy some alone time. The only real difference is that now he would wonder what his life was going to be like once the 20th actually came. It's not too often someone gets chosen to be a heroine, even less often that a GUY gets chosen to be one, and he still needed to call Shiki and tell him he'd be busy with other plans for however long this goes on. Oh how fun that would be...

Izaya finally decided to just let the man put it together himself that whatever phones he had with him at the time would be turned off until it was convenient then he'd handle them once he got home. Shiki was anything if not... reasonable? No, a better word would be  _adaptable._  The ravenett just hoped he wouldn't adapt to setting something up for Izaya to walk in on as pay-back for not informing him prior to ignoring him.

Finally, the morning of July 20th rolled around and Izaya hoped they would be inside for all of this, seeing as it was the hottest time of the year and he  **did not**  like the heat one bit. Yes, he always wore his jacket in any weather, but that was because of his preferences and Mother Nature would not tell a God to do anything, even change his clothes for her. He got into his new persona, double checking everything and twirling around in front of the mirror before heading out - an hour before Namie had to turn in to work, thank all. He hailed a cab and was on his way, memorizing the actual address of what had told him before after searching intently on Google Maps.

* * *

 _Wow.. This place isn't usual for me._ he though to himself as he walked in, mostly neutral since he didn't know if he should continue acting shy as "Kobayashi" or be confident now that he got the role. First rule of having a persona, when in that persona make it as different from yourself as possible and NEVER break character... That being said, he decided to act shy. He wandered around until he spotted one of the men that had watched his audition, deciding that had to be Mr. Watane since for once he had neglected to look up extra information about his boss - his three other cases had been first priority the last couple days so he could get them done before having to come here and cut his other hours.

As he walked up the man turned, showing pale skin, grayed hair, a lanky figure though he did seem to eat well since he wasn't particularly angular anywhere, and the usual "im-a-director-pay-attention-to-me-or-get-out" outfit. All in all, if this wasn't his boss for the next couple months, the informant would be legitimately surprised. "Ah, , very punctual I see!" he praised, dismissing who he'd been talking to before, probably just a stage-hand, and came over to him to shake his hand. "It's nice to see that even on the first day you show promise." he continued to praise, and Izaya got the immediate feeling he'd be the type of boss that's your best friend until you screw up one thing, then they'll act nice yet you'll be under their radar.

"Well, I'm excited to work here, so I'll try my best to keep this up~" Izaya giggled, knowing that at least twice out of the week he would probably be late anyway. He liked his sleep, well the little amount he usually got, and if he woke up late then he woke up late and they would have to wait for their beloved 'heroine' to make his/her appearance. The man before his nodded and he kept up his smile.

"Well, seeing as you got here right on time, all we have for you to do is go to your dressing room and be fitted for outfits. If you're not comfortable being naked in front of others, by the way, you can keep a towel over yourself. We'll figure out adjustments from that later." the man offered, obviously being in the business long enough to know that female workers, the ones that liked a bit more privacy at least, would be nervous of nudity on the first day. Or the first month. Yeah, Izaya could aim for that. Shyness was truly the best way to handle these people, giving them less opportunity to find out his true gender. He was more brilliant than he sometimes realized. (*coughizayayounarcissisticfuckcough*)

"Thank you sir, I'll get to that right away." he said, before waiting for someone to tell him where his changing room is. Mr. Watane took him by the arm, gentleman style, and guided him over to the door, flashing a big silver-star on it since he was going to be famous, but was not yet well or at all known.

"So, just stay in here and get it done. Once we're done editing the first episode's script we'll send in your co-star to give it to you. You'll be working with him quite a lot from now on, so please try to get along and if you need any help with him or have problems just call us. There's a phone in there on your desk." he said, before opening Izaya's door and letting him go finally.

"Thank you again, sir~" he called, going in and bowing before shutting the door. Once he heard Mr. Watane walk away and stayed away for a moment the ravenett sighed deeply, letting his forehead thump on the door. "I really didn't expect just showing up to be tiring.. What the fuck did I just get into?" he said, rubbing his cheeks to lessen the strain of smiling like that for so long. How long had that even been? 10, 20 minutes? This was going to be torture.

* * *

The rest of his duty had been pretty easy; strip, find a thin but long towel to cover himself in and wait for his assistants to come in and measure him. They finally did come in, neither of them knowing how long it usually took for the new star to be ready, and they got everything done in probably an hour. Finally they left again for him to dress, both of them having sour faces at the fact that even though he was supposedly  _extremely flat-chested_ he had most other features and measurements that the two wished for.  _Oh how easy it would be for them to jump like all the others... Not even speaking to me and already being completely jealous. I should have tried this tactic a while ago~_

As he slipped on his pants and long-sleeve again, there was a knock on his door and his interest peaked, going over to answer it. It was one thing for him to meet someone he could throw away, but meeting with someone he'd have to be friendly with, work with and manage not to send over a bridge, was a completely different thing. He opened the door and just almost stopped himself from gawking at the shorter man in front of him, someone who was shockingly and strikingly familiar to him. _  
_

There stood Hanejima Yuhei; the calm, stoic, pop-idol that everyone fawned over and wished to be near. And the man that was lesser known as Heiwajima Kasuka, the small and quiet little brother of Izaya's own Monster of Ikebukuro.

"Kobayashi-san. Can I come in?"


	4. Annoying Humans

The two stared at each other for a moment, and before Kasuka could question him, he shook his head and stepped aside, allowing the other to enter his dressing room. "Hello Hanejima-san. Sorry for staring, um, no one told me I would be working with someone so famous." he quickly improvised, being half-true. Obviously to get this series up and running they would pick someone who already had a fan-base to promote it, but for it to be someone Izaya  _already knew_? Well, this is just peachy.

Kasuka seemed to believe him for the most part on that one, nodding and entering before looking at 'Kobayashi' and handing him a stack of papers.  _Oh right, my script._

"Nice to meet you, Kobayashi-san." he said politely as Izaya took it, and despite having his normal, stoic expression, it wasn't easy to miss how his eyes moved over Izaya's figure. It almost made Izaya tense, since he knew Kasuka was much, much more intelligent than his older sibling - grade-wise at the very least - and since they knew each other before it would be even easier to see that something was amiss with his co-star.

If any of these assumptions were made by the smaller ravenett, he kept them to himself and continued talking business. "The director said this series will be going on weekly for almost 45 episodes, if not longer, and if it's received well we'll be here even longer for a second season. We have to get along for all of that." he told him, quiet as always and making Izaya strain to hear him since Kasuka was in the middle of the room and the informant was still by the doorway. He shut the door after realizing he was still holding it by the handle, then went over to sit on the leather couch they had provided for him.

"Yes, I guess we will. But that shouldn't be too hard, right? And besides, all we have to do is be pleasant on stage." Izaya said, his smile smaller than before since he was putting things together in his mind.  _45 weeks, or more, with the brother of my enemy. Well, this has been a.. somewhat pleasant surprise. I wonder how I could use this._

And while Izaya was thinking, Kasuka had come to sit beside him on the couch. "Exactly what I was thinking. So, you wanna practice together or wait? I already read through my script and it seems we don't really meet up until the middle of the second episode." the experienced actor announced, making Izaya hum a bit. Now that he knew who he would be working with he didn't really want to focus on the job, more on the other and seeing how he could get information about his brother out of the boy, but he'd play civil for now and act normal, not like his usual amazing self.

"Let's practice now. We can practice our solo lines on each other too." Izaya offered, and when Kasuka nodded and picked up his own script they got started.

* * *

The first half of their practice was easy, one could say. Kasuka had most of the lines, the rest were to be said by a secondary character instead of Izaya, and with the ravenett focusing only on work he already knew what kind of actor Kasuka was. A fucking amazing one. It struck Izaya as odd, seeing this person he'd known for so long to be emotionless suddenly showing true emotions and portraying them quite well besides the fact he didn't get them perfect on the first try at some points. But of course, this whole situation shouldn't be odd to him when Izaya himself is masquerading as a woman, an actress, and a very shy one all together. Hmph, moving on.

The only pauses they really had in Kasuka's parts were Izaya telling him his face didn't match what he was saying, which make Kasuka stop completely and try to do something about it, almost making Izaya piss his pants laughing. He thought  _he_  had a hard time doing something besides smirking, but this was just too good to watch. He wished he could grab his phone to record it. But that would be awfully rude, and this new persona of his was, unfortunately, not quite rude at all.

Anyways, back to the task at hand. Kasuka was still trying to get his face just right, with Izaya's help, when there was a knock on the door again and Izaya called for them to come in. It was Mr. Watane. "Oh, so the two of you are already working well together. Good to know! I see you're having a rough patch, though...?" he questioned as he studied Kasuka's improvised expression, before the idol turned away and went back to his more natural expression.

"I was just seeing what worked best." he explained, getting the manager to nod.

"Well, as long as you do well in front of the camera, do whatever you want. I just came to see if you guys wanted to be introduced to who you would be working with the most for this season." he asked, looking between them when the co-stars glanced at each other, then the scripts, then shrugged - on Kasuka's side, and nodded - on Izaya's side. He'd long gotten bored of listening to the other repeat a scene three times in a row to try memorizing it before they would move on and do the same thing again. He had a short attention span to begin with, so this was half-torture.

"Alright then, come on!" he announced, walking away and making the two stars jog a bit to catch up with him, walking a bit behind him at that point. "Alright, this is our best make-up artist on set, Andrea Banner. She came over from America to work with us, so if you speak to her in Japanese, try to talk slower." he announced, having a hand on some brunette's shoulder, who was sorting through different shades of various make-up and checking supplies. When she finally turned, she bowed to them and greeted herself, having an obvious American accent but besides that her Japanese was actually very good.

When she looked at Izaya, she stared for a second then lit up, getting a bit too close to him for his comfort and holding his face in her hands. "You're going to be Cleo? Your features are just  _perfect_  for it, this is going to be amazing!" she gushed, not seeming to realize that she was completely in Izaya's personal space, who was trying to back away from her slowly and politely.

"Thank you, but-" "It's nice to meet you, and it would be nicer if you weren't giving my co-star an anxiety attack." Kasuka spoke up suddenly, making the woman and supposed-woman look at him in slight surprise. That seemed to get to the American though and she backed off, bowing formally and frowning at herself.

"Yes, I'm terribly sorry. I-I'm just very passionate about my work.." she explained softly, getting a nod from him before he looked to Izaya. That gave him his que. The ravenett turned to her and bowed back only slightly.

"It's fine, really, but please don't do that again. It's  _quite_  unsettling." he warned her, seeing her nod and go back to work when she was dismissed by Mr. Watane's hand. The director looked at the two and smiled, bringing them over with him as he walked towards the other side of the shoot.

"Sorry about her, like she said she's very passionate. There's just a couple more people you should meet today before we get shooting on Tuesday, so follow me please." he said, more like an order as he led them away. Izaya sighed internally and rubbed his neck.  _I hope not all of the humans here are like her. They're much more entertaining from afar._ he thought to himself, casting a side-glance at Kasuka before they reached the next person.  _Well, most of them are._


	5. Welcome to the First Day of Hell-Fire

_ [Kasuka's POV] _

We walked behind Mr. Watane for a few more moments before we reached the other side of the stage, the entire time their boss was blabbering away, as well. The ravenett tuned out and kept walking blankly as he let his eyes wander around and study where he could go to get away from people when he practices his lines, not seeing many options at all since it was one of those 'open-sets' the Studio had been playing around with. It worked well for it's purpose, not Kasuka's.

Eventually his eyes went to Kobayashi's form and he found himself looking her over again, being interested to say the least.  _I know you look familiar but why?_  he thought to himself, trying his best to figure it out. He knew she'd been nervous when he'd showed up and she said he was famous, so maybe she was one of his fans and he'd noticed her at a signing? That was completely plausible, but how one single person would stand out to him because of it didn't quite make sense. At a single signing, along with any other event, even walking down the street, there were probably 400+ people coming to see him, so picking out a single girl would not only be hard, it would be almost impossible.

It wasn't just that either, but the outfit she had on was strikingly familiar. Well, the shirt was. But it's just a piece of clothing, so that obviously shouldn't get his attention.  _Hmm.._  He was about to ask her if they'd met up sometime before but then they got to their destination and went into a room filled with cameras. All different styles, sizes and models, and it was almost intimidating. He'd been in front of a camera for most of his life, but not 500 of them at once! He suppressed a shudder and just kept following until they saw a guy with a beenie on sitting in the corner, rummaging through the cameras and looking like he was checking them off.

He was blonde and tall but lanky and he looked almost like a skater-guy from his clothing. Mr. Watane turned to them with a smile and got the man's attention, telling him to stand up. "This is Ki Dong-Yul, he's our camera man and minor stage-director. Every camera is his responsibility, inside and out of this stage, so if you see something, come tell him." the director announced, waving him closer. The blonde snickered and bowed, much more deeply than needed, then looked at them both. "Well, you both know my name and I know  _his-_ " Dong-Yul pointed at Kasuka, "BUT! I seem to not know this lovely lady~" he added, turning to Kobayashi and smirking with a hand held out to shake hers.

Kasuka was almost surprised when Kobayashi-san didn't blush, seeing as she was shy from what he could tell, but he ignored the two as he turned to the director with an inward sigh. "How many other people are we meeting?" he asked, wanting to know if he'd have more time to practice his lines with his co-star or not before lunch. Just getting to know these two people had taken 45 minutes - the stage was that big! - and leave it to Kasuka to forget to feed himself breakfast that day. He woke up early for this, but he'd lost track of time watching it rain while he did yoga. So, no breakfast for him... He had to get his mind off of food.

Mr. Watane hummed, then shook his head. "I have another for you two to meet with, but they're out getting more supplies and handling your measurements. So, you can go back to practicing." he offered, letting the two go and letting Kasuka glance at Kobayashi and Dong-Yul again. The blonde was still trying to chat with her, holding one of her hands and pointing out that she could be a model instead, with all of her features, though the second ravenette didn't look too interested.

"No. If I was a model then I'd always be on a diet, what's the fun in that?" Kobayashi huffed, taking her hand away from him for probably the fourth time now. And that one comment was one that could make any true guy's heart stop. While Dong-Yul now dramatically fell to his knees and 'basked in her glory' announcing that she was truly the perfect woman, Kasuka was distracted by a phone call. When he pulled it out he read the ID and inwardly smiled, walking off since he'd been given the permission and greeting the other cheerfully.

"Moshi, moshi Shizuo-nii."

* * *

_[Izaya's POV]_

Izaya sighed as he looked down at the human in front of him, glancing around as he tried to drown out the incessant worshipping - though he did truly deserve it - and noticed Kasuka on his phone. For a second he wondered who he could be talking to, when his job was currently here, before both of the ravenett's hands were grabbed to get his attention. Mr. Watane had left a moment ago, wanting to check over the script again one more time, so he was now alone with the tech-director.

Dong-Yul was still beaming up at him through watery eyes. "Kobayashi-senpai~, you are a light in the dark of his dreadful place. Please, please let me love you!" he announced, making Izaya interested yet perplexed of how someone could be saying a thing like that to someone who he had  _literally_  just met no more than 10 minutes ago. The blonde was silent for him to answer and Izaya pondered it, wondering what he could get out of this.

_Well, he could be interesting to study. He knows a lot about the set if he's a stage-director as well, so he could let me in on secrets... It's settled then._

"Alright. You may." he announced, seeing Dong-Yul jump up to hug him, which Izaya quickly stopped with a hand as he glanced back to see Kasuka had moved somewhere out of sight of the doorway. It would be bad for his co-star to see him so out of character. "But, I never said I would back." he said briskly, turning away and getting out of the stunned man's range, walking through the door and off towards the right so he could explore.

Finally, the man he'd left in the room had come to his senses and stood just outside the door, still beaming at the ravenett's back. "I'll show you all my love until you return the feeling, my sweet~! I promise, you can love me too!" he shouted to him across the stage, which made Izaya discreetly pick up his pace to get away from the scene.

"Yeah, sure." he muttered under his breath, seeing some of the people around look at him, making him put up his fake smile again as he passed.  _I cannot believe this is only my first day.._


	6. Brutal Link

_[Izaya's POV]_

After two more days of that turning out to be his norm, and afternoons filled with Shiki yelling into his ear about withholding information and keeping things secret, the informant was mentally exhausted.

Izaya plopped onto his head, glancing at his digital clock to see it was only 10 pm. And it wasn't even the middle of the week yet. He closed his crimson eyes as he laid on his stomach and rested his chin on his arms. "What should I do while I have time.." he pondered, though he already knew the answer. There was really only one option, especially whenever he's stressed over something.

With a smile and a small snicker, he was on his feet, grabbing his trade-mark jacket and walking out his front door without even a wave to his assistant, who he'd quickly forced to do "overtime" after he got his second job, seeing as he knew very well that when he wasn't here she wasn't going to lift a finger for his needs. So, she was really doing all of her normal work in the time-span of only 5 hours in his apartment during the night... He should give her a raise, but that's not his thing and he doesn't feel like giving anyone who obsesses over their own brother extra.

Speaking of someone who obsessed over their own brother, it seemed that by the loud crash, air swishing passed him and the air crackling with heated rage from behind him, his play-thing had shown up. "You missed again, ne? I'm starting to think you do that on purpose, Shizu-chan." he announced as he turned around to see a very angry neanderthal picking up a stop sign for new ammo.

"I-zay-a-kuuun..." he seethed from all the way down the street, clearing the rest of what people had been left when the trash-can hadn't given them a hint to run. The ravenett didn't budge, smirking cheerfully as he stared at the brute who was stomping towards him. It was so easy to tell when it would set him off too.

_There's the cigarette snapping.. The silly look in his eyes... Yup, 3.. 2.. 1..._

He nimbly dodged out of the way when that stop-sign was swung at him like a back, quickly jumping onto the red sign and sticking his tongue out at his favorite/most-hated blond, then hopped off and quickly ran away with the other chasing him clumsily.

_Ahh, much better already~_

* * *

_ [Kasuka's POV] _

Kasuka knocked on Shizuo's door quickly, doing a knock that he and his brother had been doing since childhood despite how childish it could seem. It was special, so anyone who voiced their opinion about it was a douche, in both of their eyes - though Shizuo, unlike the calmer sibling, would probably voice it as well.. Oh well, if they were too incompetent to not realize who his big brother was by the time they said it, natural selection finds a way.

He kept on that train of thought for another couple minutes before realizing he was still standing in front of the blond's door with no answer. He did their knock again and cleared his throat. "Shizuo-nii, I brought milk." he called out, which was true, the bag crinkled in his hand while he shifted and waited for the other man some more, finally coming to the conclusion that he wasn't home for whatever reason.

_Dangit.. I thought he said there wasn't work around this time. It's 11 pm, what could Tom have him still doing?_

He was just about to leave when there was some stomping from the same direction and he paused, seeing a certain blond brute come from them, clean-cut strips missing from the arm of his bartender attire and making the smaller inwardly sigh.  _Well, they lasted longer than they used to._ And with that, the other finally noticed him.

"Kasuka? Why are you... OH crap, that was today. Sorry, Otōto.. Flea kept me busy." Shizuo grumbled, almost hissing the last statement and letting Kasuka stand aside so he could unlock the door. When it was open he moved aside for his closest family and shuffled in with him, Kasuka taking off his shoes first while Shizuo seemed to only remember after fishing out another cigarette to put between his lips, even though he didn't light this one. He noticed over the last couple months Shizuo had started doing that to cope with having to buy less, trick himself into thinking his nicotine intake was still normal.

Finally Shizuo was going to relax with the other, smiling fondly when his brother repeated, now to him, that he had gotten milk like he said he would. That calmed the elder down for a moment before he suddenly frowned, standing stock still in the middle of the kitchen before he started sniffing, turning in one spot and doing a 360 before he stopped again, scowling. "I smell filth." he hissed, walking around now as he sniffing.

"Maybe it's your feet, Nii-san. You finally took off your shows like normal people." the smaller teased, settling at the kitchen table as his sibling gave him a annoyed yet amused look. Shizuo just shook his head and kept looking around for something, drifting closer to his brother as the ravenett set the milk cartons on the table calmly, used to his brother's antics - somewhat - since they had always been close.

After another couple minutes, Shizuo stared at Kasuka, who looked up at him innocently, actually curious what he was thinking after that episode. There was silence then Shizuo growled. "Sorry Kasuka, but I need to burn these clothes. The flea must have infected them more than I thought." he said, sounding very disappointed in losing another set of clothes completely.

"You could just boil them." "That would make it hard to keep on, Kasuka.." "You forgot again. I can sew."

They stared at each other for a moment before Kasuka spoke up again. "Okay, I can fix buttons, but that's a form of sewing." Shizuo just let out an amused chuckle and ruffled his little brother's hair before he plopped into the chair beside him to drink a carton of his beloved milk.

After that they finally caught up, Kasuka telling his brother about his new job and a little about the series he was going to do. He went over the usual "the director already sounds like a prick" conversation, describing to the blond and watching him roll his eyes when he told him that he was acting nice on the  _first day._ From both Heiwajimas' experiences, that was clearly a bad sign for the future.

"Well, do you have nice co-workers this time? The last gig you had, wasn't your second love-interest a complete whore off-stage?" the blond asked, watching the other nod as he sipped some tea.

"Yeah, she was. But, thankfully, Kobayashi-san seems nice. She already helped me with the first shoot." Kasuka said, looking into his cup as he thought about how he actually wouldn't mind joint practice for once. Usually the other stars would drive him nuts. Not with their usual attitudes, but with how over-dramatically they acted, just making him feel like either them or himself was going to ruin something and make them start all over again. It was mental torture..

"Good, maybe you can finally get a girlfriend." the brute joked, watching Kasuka shake his head silently before sipping his tea again.

"She's nice, but I've already told you. Guys are much better." the ravenett announced, for probably the fourth time to his sibling, seeing Shizuo smile apologetically.

"Sorry, you're such the ladies man I always forget. Besides, you never know. You might be bi and just haven't met the right girl yet.." Shizuo trailed off, seeming to notice he said the wrong thing when he got his little brother's evil-eye. "But until that ever possibly happens, find someone that treats you right, Otōto!" he added quickly, giving the other a good pat on the back.


	7. Simply Curious.. Right?

_ [Izaya's POV] _

He stepped back into work after a two day break he was given, now it was Thursday and after tomorrow he would get another two day break. Some random woman had told him that things are like that for the next three weeks until everyone is caught up with anything they need, then there will be uniform work again.  _How fun..._ Izaya would much rather just stay like this but if it did then that just meant he would be cramped here for a longer time. That could be a break-down.

Well, he was here anyway, after Namie waking him up for his new schedule and nagging him that she shouldn't have to be his alarm-clock all the time. Too bad for her.

The ravenett went right to his dressing room and sat down heavily as he looked at the outfit they had made for him, the one they expected him to put on and see if it felt okay before they tried to film him in it. For Izaya's tastes, at least, it was way too showing. It looked Egyptian, gold linens covering his vital areas, including the feminine ones he lacked, and splayed open in front of his thighs so he could walk comfortably. He also assumed with was for sex appeal.

He sighed heavily, looking it over one more time before going behind a curtain and changing into it, struggling with the straps that were somehow meant to go over his shoulders but were getting tangled with the straps that were supposed to rest loosely over his arms.  _Why do girls put up with this!?_ he shouted in his head, before giving a heavy sigh and leaving them how they were. He noticed that anything that could give him away was covered, and he only had the top to deal with, so he sighed relief when his assistant came in.

"Oh thank goodness! Shara could you help me with this? The damn straps won't-" he mumbled, stepping out from behind the curtain to see another ravenett, not his knit-wit assistant, but his co-star in her place. He instantly held more tightly to the garment covering his chest, even though it was already in place to not reveal himself. "Hanejima-san? What are you doing in here?" he asked, knowing that the other was supposed to be trying on his garment as well.

"I already finished trying mine, it wasn't too hard." he announced, making Izaya check in his head that most male clothing was, in fact, very simple compared to what he was struggling with.

"Alright, then.. Why are you in my room, though?" he asked softly, glancing through the door to see if Shara was nearby after all.

"I came to rehearse, and to give you next week's script. They got it done early, so now we just have to hope they don't change everything up again.." he muttered. Their director was known for being a bit indecisive on the first try of  _anything._ Izaya nodded with a small sigh, shifting uncomfortably before going back behind the curtain.

"Alright, well, could you go get Shara? This outfit isn't helping me whatsoever..." he said, really just not feeling like talking with anyone. If Shara was there then he could just ignore her or make comments like he does to Namie. But his co-star was a different set of rules entirely. It was almost painful keeping up a civil act around everyone all the time.

"I can help you. All you need to fix is the straps, right?" Kasuka called from the other side, walking up to the curtain casually. Izaya grimaced a bit and shook his head, controlling his temper.

"Don't you have to go check your own script?" "Yeah, but we practice together anyway and I don't want to run into my assistant. I kinda spilled coffee on him by accident.."

Izaya found himself chuckling at that, despite his attitude, and finally sighed softly. "Alright, come here and help me. I just can't see what I'm doing is all." he muttered, glancing back at the curtain while Kasuka came in, looking him over before trying to figure out how they went as well.

"They really don't care if you break something trying to get this on, do they?" the other asked, mostly to himself, as he fumbled with the fabric and let Izaya relax in his seat.

"Nope, they don't. It's probably free entertainment to them listening to girls curse in frustration." he joked, rubbing his forehead as he irritably acknowledged a small headache. There was a small noise of agreement from behind him and after that it was silent. The silence wasn't claustrophobic or anything like that, but he would have preferred a conversation to take up his 10 minutes of fixing the outfit. It didn't take anywhere near as long, now Kasuka just asked him if he could see the whole outfit, now that it was on right.

Izaya did it without thinking, having the same question asked of him quite a few times in the last couple days. When he turned however, he didn't miss the very bright glint of curiosity in Kasuka's eyes. It didn't go away as he nodded, looking at the outfit and seeing that it fit just as it was meant to, and probably better than expected. Then they locked eyes again.

"Kobayashi-san, are your eyes naturally that color?" he finally asks, making Izaya think over his answer while mentally face-palming himself.  _Of course I forgot my eyes stand out like a fucking license..._

He shook his head with a small smile. "No, I wear contacts. Can't see a thing~" he laughed, hoping he was actually being believable. Lying about other people was easy, but this was something that could be very easily disproved, especially if Kasuka asked too much of him. "I know, odd color choice, but red is my favorite." he added, just to put in extra information, make it seem more believable than it is. Always a good method, and while Kasuka didn't seem to believe him he didn't press on it.

"They fit you well. Though you look awfully familiar to someone.. Do you have any siblings? A brother?" the ravenett asked, sounding casual and having his eyes like steel which made the cross-dresser nervous.

"Only child. Sorry~ But I do have cousins, maybe you've seen one of them?" he offered, not wanting to make it too suspicious that he shut that part of the conversation down. "Anyway, now that I know this fits I should get back in my normal clothes. This isn't very comfy.." he lied. It was actually incredibly comfortable, and silky, but he needed some kind of excuse. The informant made a motion that shooed Kasuka passed the curtain, pushing him through when he looked like he was contemplating something. And instead of leaving like expected, he heard a mass thump onto the couch, letting him know he still wasn't alone.

"Only child, huh? That sounds sad." he muttered, idly chatting. Izaya wondered if he should respond or act like he was too busy to hear, finally deciding to just change his clothes so he could get out and go around other people again, ones that Kasuka wouldn't ask him questions around. He stripped down to his underwear, currently wearing some panties he'd put on just to make it less suspicious if someone caught a flash of what he was wearing.. not as comfortable as he had hoped.. when his co-star spoke up again.

"So, did you have a job before this? Never heard your name before, so this must be your first time." he noted, making Izaya give out a small hum.

"I just had a part time job, nothing fancy." he responded, humming a song softly as he dressed to hopefully deter him from asking other things. "Any particular place you worked?" "No, I was more free-lance." "Hm, sounds cool. Did you go to college before this? You must be 20 or older, yes?" "I went for a year, but it was very expensive. I plan on going back once this job is over.." "Un." With that odd acceptance, Izaya finished dressing and stood beside the curtain, about to move it when Kasuka spoke up again, standing from the couch.

"Well, I'm going to grab some food at the catering table. My brother should be coming by for a set-visit soon." Kasuka let him know casually, giving a farewell before walking out and not seeing Izaya pale where he was.


	8. Ill Escape

_ [Kasuka's POV] _

He walked out of Kobayashi-san's dressing room still curious, mind working up to the fact that he could tell she was lying and that he definetly did know her. And he had an almost sinking feeling of who she was. Despite wanting to know the truth, he hoped his second assumption was wrong.

Kasuka walked towards the front gate of the set and waited, knowing Shizuo would either be a bit late or terribly early. It's just how his brother always seemed to show up, so he was used to it. Plus, he'd wait a whole week to have someone come help him figure out if his co-star is the infamous someone he had in mind. The ravenett stood there for almost 15 minutes, and seeing that it was now 10 minutes from when they were supposed to meet, he decided that Shizuo would be a bit late today and headed inside to see if the director needed him for anything.

That was a good plan of action, until he couldn't find the director. He kept looking around until he was about to give up, then he noticed Mr. Watane stepping out of Kobayashi-san's dressing room with a bow, before making his way over to one of the stage-hands and giving them an order. He was pretty interested already when he saw where their director came from, but it could be a very simple "Did the outfit fit? Oh good, now we can rehearse even more!".  _Damn my morbid curiosity._ And with that thought, Kasuka was pacing towards the older man before their director could get out of sight.

"Hello, Mr. Watane-san." he greeted politely, receiving a good smile. He didn't bother giving it back this time. "Is there anything you need me to do?" he asked softly, thinking he should at least act like he was focused on his job. The director hummed.

"Nothing that I can think of. You practice well enough alone, so keep that up for today." Mr. Watane jeered, and was about to walk away before Kasuka stopped him.

"I don't practice alone. I practice with Kobayashi-san." he pointed out, thinking the other should know this by now since they've been practicing in each other's rooms since the beginning of the week. At first for Kasuka and his co-star's benefit, then for Kasuka to spend more time with her and pick up quirks. It helps to know them when one of your co-stars eventually gets something that interferes with work and then blatantly lies about it, like the last two times he had to do an open set.. People are terrible.

Mr. Watane looked a bit surprised and glanced at him, then Kobayashi-san's door. "Well, you're practicing alone today. Didn't she tell you? Kobayashi-san's feeling ill, she'll be practicing intently at home until she's called in for shooting." he announced, raising a brow as he probably noticed Kasuka's nonplussed expression.

His hazel eyes went to the door and almost glared, the rest of his face naturally composed. "No, she didn't say a thing."

* * *

_[Izaya's POV]_

_Not good, not good, not good.. That brute can smell me a mile away, he probably already knows I'm here! Geeeez, what do I do now..?_

The informant kept thinking to himself as he paced behind the curtain in his dressing room. "Okay, think.. You're in disguise, with nothing against you apparent to the people you work with, and if some guy with huge muscles comes at me with a reason or not, they would be on my side... Comforting, but they would be up against Shizu-chan." he muttered to himself, taking a seat on the stool he had as he kept thinking.

Izaya didn't care for this job as much as he had in his head, nothing seemed as good as it ever did in a person's head, but that didn't mean he wanted that blonde to come in and ruin it in an instant. He'd done all of this in the first place to enjoy himself and if the blonde was getting in his way of that, yet again he might add, then he could either face it head on and make a scene that would almost  _prove_ what Shizu-chan accused to be right or he could avoid everything entirely and just seem meek...

The second outcome wasn't appealing, but the course of action was.

He sighed as he made his decision to chicken-out, standing up and heading towards his door feeling drained, then pausing as there was a knock. "Who is it?" he called, hearing the director announce himself shortly after. The ravenett, nodded thinking this was good and went to the couch, sitting down and leaning back as he called for the man to come in. With how irritable he was, it was easy to get the other concerned for him.

"Kobayashi-san, what's wrong? You look like you told Death to fuck off." Mr. Watane huffed, surprising Izaya with his choice of words.  _Didn't know he was one for cussing. Good to know._ And the informant just shrugged.

"Might as well have, I feel awful. A headache hit me about an hour ago." he lied, watching him nod and look sympathetic.

"Yeah, those are common once you start something like this. Lots of stress on your mind and body.. Do you have a fever?" he asked, eyes following Izaya as the actor/informant tilted his head then shrugged tiredly. "Alright, c'mere then." Watane commanded, motioning him over before feeling his forehead to check. "Nothing strong, but you are the heroine. If you get actually sick that could set us back plenty. How about you practice at home for a while? We don't start shooting the first scene until Monday - Sunday, if no complains - so just relax until then alright?" Mr. Watane suggested, watching Izaya nod in relief.

_Yeah, yeah, just let me get out of here before HE shows up!_  And as if the other could read his thoughts, he dismissed him with a smile and walked out of the room. The ravenett waited until the door closed shut to throw his hands in the air from being once again victorious, and not having to look awfully meek in front of the other. It had worked out better than expected at least, now all he had to do was get the hell out.

He started grabbing his things and getting what he needed before there was another knock on the door. Apparently, Mr. Watane had ordered some intern to come escort him to the gate and call him a cab, which had already been done.  _Well, if nothing else they're considerate to health._ He sighed and followed him, telling the driver his street, but not address, and getting in with no problems.

Izaya could swear that he heard something like his name being chanted in the background from the music and the car beginning to drive off, but he pushed the thoughts away as he was in the clear.  _First order of business when I get home... Colored contacts, checking up on everyone's life-story, and making sure Shizu-chan keeps his nose in my interest and out of my hobbies. Baka..._


	9. Home Visit

_ [Izaya's POV] _

It was Saturday and Izaya was pretty proud of himself for easily avoiding anyone from work, besides the one call from Mr. Watane to check and see if he had gotten home alright, while still being able to go out yesterday and be chased around by Shizuo. The only thing that had put off his mood had been when the blonde got him in a corner and asked him, albeit grudgingly, if he had been in the area of Kasuka's work. It was easy to tease him and say "Aww, was Shizu-chan missing me? I'll be sure to give my protozoan more attention from now on~" before he escaped and was chased off again - but the message was still the same.

Izaya had let Kasuka slip to his side too easily and allowed himself to screw up, almost getting caught by that brute of a brother he had.  _I guess when people work two jobs they do get less attentive.. Thought that shit was a myth._  he inwardly sighed, settling on his couch and reading through his script, seeing as he had finished whatever magazine had shown up in his mail and no one had called with any informant jobs to keep him busy.

Everything was quiet for a while, a whole silent hour passing of him memorizing lines and thinking of how to say them - even though his effort on that part could be pointless since it all depended on the tone the other person would really have towards him... It was actually entertaining to think about for the informant, even if it was a bit annoying, that even in a job much simpler than his original one there was still variables he couldn't quite guess. He had good assumptions for most things involving his hobby so far, but things still found a way to interest him.

Like how Kasuka would ignore some of the nicest people yet hang around 'Kobayashi' even after she screwed up a line five times because she was thirsty and was too lazy at that moment to get up and didn't feel like ordering her lady-servant, or assistant as he less-often called her, to get water for her.

Or like how no matter where he was on set it was like there were eyes on him, but he didn't have that dreadful feeling of paranoia. It was more like a protective look than a menacing or prying one. The only thing that distracted him on that part was that he could never tell where the look was coming from; it could have been Kasuka, Dong-Yul, or even Watane, but whenever he looked around he just couldn't tell.

In the middle of Izaya's thoughts, there was a hesitant but loud knock on his door and he glanced that direction before setting down his things and walking towards it, hand moving into his pocket to finger the knife there. It always made him feel secure, just to have it and know there was a weapon handy, so not having it while he was at his hobby was always stressing - though he hid that well enough too. He got to the door, not making a sound in case it was someone that wanted him dead, as per usual, and when he looked through the peep-hole his eyes widened.

_Damnit.. What's Kasuka doing at my house!?_  he thought in a small bit of anger. He wasn't used to having his peace disturbed by a friendly face, besides Shinra of course. And the informant was pretty sure being disturbed by someone who  **did** want him dead would have been more welcome. At least he could taunt and toy with them before chasing them off or killing them, but no, he had to deal with the co-worker that could have gotten his hobby taken away.

Just as he was about to grab the handle, he realized that he still looked like his actual self; no straight hair, no make-up, no mole, and a not-as-feminine-as-it-should-be body.  _Fuuuck!_  He jumped away from the door while Kasuka knocked again, louder this time, and looked around quickly. Nothing was laying out that could give him away, so it was just his appearance he had to deal with. He took a couple quick steps to the stairs and called out with a 'sickly' voice, "I'll be right there!". And with that, he was jumping up the stairs and into his room so he could quickly throw together his feminine-side.

After Izaya's second form was done, he glanced at himself in the mirror and smiled, turning before quickly looking himself in the mirror again. "Well, I look fuckin' dandy... No one would believe I'm sick, even me." he muttered, glancing around at what he had to fix that, noticing some blush he hadn't used yet and opening it up, putting some onto his nose and his cheek-bones, staring at himself for a couple seconds.

"I guess that helps.." he grumbled, throwing his stuff away then quietly scampering down the stairs and wrapping a blanket around his shoulders before opening the door to see a bored, half-asleep Kasuka at his door. At the sound it made, the other ravenett seemed to perk up and look him over, humming unhappily.

"Even for a sick person, you take a very long time, Kobayashi-san. I was beginning to think you hurt yourself." Kasuka noted, his voice blank but Izaya picking up on a tone that he couldn't decide was worried or mocking.  _If this guy starts making fun of me, I'm going to blame it on their genes as being annoying._  But despite his thoughts, he gave Kasuka a tired smile.

"Glad to know you were concerned. Come in." he offered, quite unwillingly in his mind, while he took a step to the side to let Kasuka into his home and further into his personal space.  _I should have just said "hey I'm sick, fuck off!" but nooo, I have to keep up a goody-goody act.._

As he shut the door Kasuka looked at him over his shoulder, having a more knowing look than the informant was comfortable with. "You're awful at hiding your thoughts, Kobayashi-san. If you want someone to leave, you should say so sooner. For your own health, of course." he muttered, giving him a small, rare smile before seating himself on Izaya's couch. "That being said, I just need to stay for a while so Mr. Watane doesn't think I lied about checking on you for him. I'll be out of your hair."

_Or, maybe acting IS the problem..._

* * *

_[Kasuka's POV]_

As he sat on the couch, glancing around the room, he could tell that Kobayashi-san was still uncomfortable. For a moment she actually looked sick, but that was just irritation and the redness of her face. Everything else about her screamed health and he just couldn't believe that anything was wrong with her. Except maybe a strong case of lying.

The more he thought about it, he couldn't get the thought that she wasn't who she said she was out of his head. He knew her, very well, and coming here had proved it. No one could have worked part-time and just started an acting career yet have this apartment. A whole floor of an apartment building to themselves, in such a high-end place with all of this expensive furniture and security; none of it could  _ever_ be managed by the person she said she was. So now all he had to do was confirm his second suspicion and finally have peace of mind.

Well, as much peace of mind one could have with their crush now working with them.


	10. Izaya-kun?

_ [Kasuka's POV] _

The short ravenett waited until Kobayashi sat beside him, after asking him if he'd wanted coffee or tea or anything to eat, and finally looked at her with open interest. At work there could be cameras everywhere, along with fans that got a job in the studio, so he always had to be careful about what he did. Now, there was no one watching him and there wouldn't be anyone snooping around for his co-star yet. He hoped..

Kasuka watched his co-star quietly tidy things up, seeing the apprehension on her face easily and wondering if he might have been wrong after all. There were cases where people on completely different  _continents_ looked like one another, yet they never met and never spoke and never knew of each other, so this could be the case... But those eyes; they were his sign that he was right. He didn't believe for a damn minute that she couldn't see in front of her face without contacts or that she would just choose to wear bright red ones for the hell of it, especially when she was shy and wouldn't want to attract attention to herself. It didn't add up, but if he turned out to be wrong he could at least say in his head that he was fully justified to think she wasn't herself.

"Kobayashi-san, how have you been feeling? It surprised me when Watane-san had to tell me himself I wouldn't have someone to practice with." he announced, letting out a small tone of betrayal. They had worked together non-stop since the second day on set and then suddenly she left. In any normal case someone would feel guilty for that, but when he watched her, her eyes just narrowed a bit and she smiled at him.

"Sorry to worry you, Hanejima-san. I just didn't want to be a bother when you had already helped me with my outfit." she giggled, making him nod and look around the apartment as he thought of what else he could find fault in. He hoped his face was as blank as it usually was, then she wouldn't question why he was so curious about everything, more than the average guest.

"I wouldn't have been bothered. You're my co-star, we look out for each other." he muttered, then just decided to call out his first fault. "Kobayashi-san, you have a lovely home. I never expected this as what people live in when they just start acting." His golden eyes moved to catch what she did again but looked a bit passed her, like he was still admiring her home.

And unlike what he expected, she frowned slightly. "It's a lot cheaper than it looks, definetly.. When my real-estate agent suggested this I thought she was insane. Turns out the guy that lived here before was a total creep, so the over-all value dropped in this building." she explained quietly, glancing at her hands and fidgeting with her script. "It's pretty big for only one person to live in though, don't you think?" she asked, turning to him with a shy grin.

_Seriously? You said you were what, 19? No nineteen year old would get a real estate agent without there parents coming along and telling them 'yes' or 'no', not even mine, you're digging yourself a hole here._

The actor just nodded dully, looking down at the script as he thought to himself. He wanted the truth, yes. He would really want the informant that taunts his brother all the time to be the one sitting next to him now, definetly. But if this really was Izaya it almost scared him how easily he could come off as a woman, with a whole other life and story and still try to come up with something on the spot like this with someone he knew sitting right there next to him, ready to be lied to. And even if Kasuka was all the ready to be lied to, he couldn't just sit back and play the gullible part. He couldn't stop himself from thinking. And that's what put him in this situation to begin with.

"Ah, I see. It must be nice to get such a deal on this place, but.." he trailed off, giving a small frown as he furrowed his brows. This caught his company's attention, noticing her lean in a bit even without looking at her.

"But what?" Kobayashi whined, making him stop himself from blushing. Whether she was Kobayashi-san or Izaya-kun, that was fucking cute! The actor gave a short huff and looked at her, back to his normal expression.

"Nothing. I just heard a lot about this area being dangerous.. Gangs, murderers, suicides, the Yakuza... It all sounds like too much to be around for a girl living on her own." Kasuka dragged on, watching as she shifted uncomfortably where she was, just nodding to what he said and grabbing her cup of coffee from the table, sipping it before she tried to speak. Kasuka cut her off.

"But that's never been hard to deal with as Izaya, hasn't it?" And if that slight look of failure in her eyes admitted anything, he knew he'd hit the nail on the head.

_It's a pleasure to formally meet you, Izaya-kun~_


	11. Dammit, Heiwajima

_ [Izaya's POV] _

_Fuck.. Fuck! I know he's smart, I know he can put things together better than his brother can, and I know he's been around the block a few times, but did he really have to figure me out this quickly? I don't even get a month at this and I'm going to be thrown out? Not a single episode on the air and a little get-together celebration for it either, nope, none of that for me... Fucking Heiwajima's fucking up my life.._

The informant simply sat where he was for a moment after Kasuka had said it, getting his thoughts together and wiping off the disappointment from his features. He wasn't used to being beaten, or at least being caught in such a short time. Turns out that, even for a God like him, there were still surprises to be had and small defeats to be taken.

That didn't mean he had to like it.

"So, you figured me out, ne~? What part gave it away? All the little details or did you see a big flaw somewhere along the way? Really, I'd love to know." Izaya said, his voice coming out as more of a pout than the sigh he had anticipated. That was still fine, nothing too out of his character. Once Kasuka left he could have a fit in his room then go out for Russia Sushi, then chase around or be chased by Shizuo for a while. That would make all of this sudden stress go away, definetly.

The ravenett beside him didn't look as pleased with himself as one would expect, his normal blank expression ever present though his eyes did have small flashes of some emotion. Izaya couldn't fully catch what that emotion was before it went away but at least it let him know Kasuka did have actual emotions to be played with, not fake ones only for his acting career. "It wasn't anything you did, I've just seen you enough to recognize you passed your disguise. You're not an easy person to forget, Izaya-kun." the hazel-eyed actor announced, making Izaya give him his natural smirk.

"Thank you for showing some respect to your superior, Hanejima-san." Izaya chuckled, noticing that he hadn't called Kasuka the name he expected to fall from his lips.  _Dammit, I wasn't supposed to show respect back. How do I manage to catch a habit within 2 weeks?_  And despite the berating in his mind, Kasuka continued to watch him silently like he was expecting something else. He was waiting for something. "What's with that look, Heiwajima? Are you beginning to hate me like your brother?" he let out in a partially innocent tone.

Kasuka just leaned further back on Izaya's couch like the informant had only told him to make himself at home. "No. I was expecting for you to do something about me finding out. Hold your knife to my throat and demand I don't tell anyone. Threaten me about even joking to the media that I found out a little hobby of yours. Anything really." the infamous actor mumbled, eyes glancing out the window as he spoke then darting back towards Izaya's face.

That reminded him...  _Why aren't I doing any of that?_  It took him a moment to answer himself.  _Because I've been working with this idiot for almost 2 weeks now and I was able to find out he's not an imbecilic, protozoan-like, normal human being that deserves to be so much lower than myself. Sure, he's nowhere near as good as I am, but he would make a good companion. Much better than that freak Namie, or Shinra when he's asking me for a sample of Shizuo's blood from one of my knives._

It took him another minute to ask himself why, even if he didn't despise or feel like leading on the other, he hadn't felt the need to even consider keeping him quiet. He distracted himself with stretching himself back, avoiding Kasuka's invading and emotionless eyes. "Well, having been with you for the lesser half of a while, you aren't one for talking to the media. Or gossiping, except about Tanemi." the informant responded finally, both shuddering softly at the thought of the red-head that had stalked them both into their work-place at least 3 times, who had also tried sneaking in by tipping the guy that catered them to let her bring in a couple boxes and set things up, camera at the ready for when either Kasuka or the director came out for something. "So I shouldn't have to worry about that. If you do anything I consider suspicious, however, then you can have my knife to your throat as much as you desire." Izaya ended in a superficially sweet voice and at the same time looked over to Kasuka, who was paying attention to him but in a more spaced-out kind of way.

Izaya smirked wider at this. "What are you staring at, Heiwajima? I know I'm magnificent but at least have the dignity to realize I'm talking to you." he mocked, seeing Kasuka snap to attention again subtly. And despite thinking he would get another bland response, Kasuka actually grinned at him.

"I have more than enough dignity to realize your talking, I was just wondering how many times you've whored out that knife of yours to other people's throats. If you've had this hobby for longer than I suspect then there could be quite a few people that have dibs on it." The ravenett shot at him, standing from his spot on the couch and going towards Izaya's front door, slipping on his shoes. "Like you said Izaya-kun, I don't very much like talking to the media or others, so you won't have to be letting out your knife on set anytime soon. In return, you'd better be back at the set by Monday so we can get to work. Good night." And with that, Kasuka was out the door, leaving behind a very confused informant.


	12. Long Time Waiting

_ [Kasuka's POV] _

The actor sat in the limousine that had been waiting for him 20 minutes prior to drive him home from Kobayashi-san's, no.. Izaya's apartment building. After practically running to the limo, telling his driver he wanted to go home and settling himself in his seat as he replayed the whole scene back at Izaya's place, he repeatedly smacked himself in the forehead, utterly annoyed with how he'd handled his victory.

Well, he didn't handle it at all really. When he'd suddenly got the confirmation he'd wanted that it was Izaya this whole time, his mind had suddenly decided to not pay attention to anything else than the fact he'd been able to practice with, "get to know", and be friendly with his long-time crush on a more personal level. And even if it had been an act or a persona, Izaya had been civil with him and acted like he almost enjoyed his company more than anyone else on set. It was enough to make him nearly blush in front of the other.

But then he had to snap out of it and panic, leading him to act like a complete asshole who was 'in control' of the situation before suddenly leaving to where he was now. "Fucking idiot.." he muttered to himself, wondering how else he could have handled it to make himself not seem cocky or childish in front of the other man. It was hard for him to picture, his mind still working that he had been right all along and he could continue to work with Izaya very closely for as long as this series lasted, among others if he could drag the ravenett with him, seeing as Izaya had chosen to do this all on his own in the first place.

Eventually, his brain also decided to recall that he'd been in the same room as Izaya and in very close proximity to him when he was undressing, probably being one of the only people to achieve that besides possibly Shinra. "Goddammit, don't think about that!" he scolded himself, slapping his own cheeks once to make himself focus again. "Fuuuck, I'm in even deeper now that I know it's him.. Hope this doesn't fuck me up too bad at work." he sighed, leaning back in his seat as he waited for the driver to announce they'd gotten home safely.

* * *

_[5 years prior]_

_Kasuka walked along the road, hood pulled over his head and face in his phone as he tried to hide from the few people who might recognize a child actor on his way to pick his elder sibling. The same people who would then gather more people, who would gather more then the news and then an interview team. Which he seriously didn't want.._

_But thankfully he had made it to Raijin front gate without getting much or any attention and he relaxed until he finally heard the bell not too long after. And not too long after that, his brother Shizuo stepped out in his school uniform, glancing around before spotting Kasuka and walking to him. "Hello Shi-" without warning his left hand was in his brother's tight grip and he was being pulled back in the direction he'd come, almost hastily making their way as far away from the premises as possible. "Shizuo, why are we walking so fast?" he asked, finally getting irritable at the tight grip once they made it to the railroad crossing which was in their way. **  
**_

_"No reason. I just want to go home." was what he'd gotten in return, making the actor internally frown, since he had the impeccable ability of knowing when the blonde was lying._

_"Okay. But I got here just fine without you holding my hand, Aniki. I think I manage on the way back as well." he muttered, hoping that didn't bother him. There wasn't much of a response but soon his hand was released and right as they were going to pass the railroad, his brother tensed like he'd just been kicked in the gut and there was a shout of his name, or some form of it, from behind them._

_"Shizu-chaaan~" was all the ravenett could hear before his brother suddenly turned around with his fists tightly clenched - making the smaller brother glad he'd told him to let go before - and a look that could kill if those hands didn't reach their target first. And moving to see the source, Kasuka finally got an answer to what had been bothering him._

_"I-zay-a-kuuun..." was what he could make out of his brother's grumbling as the devil-incarnate, in the blonde's eyes, walked closer. To the younger sibling, however, he looked like an evil angel. Not to say that being evil was entirely bad, he'd had to play some evil roles for his career recently, but the one walking towards them had an edge about him that was dangerous and cunning and to Kasuka, he looked beautiful._

_He had curves that were feminine but an air around him that was undeniably masculine. His hair was one to match Kasuka's own and with pale skin to contrast it, the bright red eyes that stood out between the two were so exotic to the younger teen that he almost felt surreal watching the high-schooler stride towards them._

_It was also surreal to see someone walking towards them so confidently with his brother in such an obvious rage, but he couldn't be bothered to glance at the blonde now._

**_So this is the guy I've heard so much about.. This is the guy that's gotten my brother suspended more than 7 times in only one month, worsened his anger issues, made him crush half the school and the city to go along with it, and also has messed around with the population of this city so much in and of itself that the only friend my brother says he can manage is Shinra... I refuse to believe it._ ** _he thought to himself silently._

_Of course, some of that doubt was put off when he noticed the other teen slide a flick-blade out of his sleeve and into his hand, keeping it ready for use against the mass of anger beside him. "Why do you look so unhappy to see me, Shizu-chan~? I thought we had plans, ne." Izaya called over to them, only stopping his stride when he was within 10 yards of the two brothers. Much too close for someone that didn't want to get hurt at the moment, in Kasuka's opinion._

_"No, we didn't, you damn flea! Those "plans" were you leaving me a note that said 3 guys are gonna jump me at the front gate. Nothing happened, so not only are you a filthy, evil bastard, you're a fucking liar!" the blonde shouted, that being the only release of his anger at the moment since he was obviously trying to not throw any punches with his little brother there to see him. **And there's the cursing again. Every time he mentions this man, half his vocabulary leaves, as usual.**_

_"Aww, so mean Shizu-chan.. And here I thought you would calm down that filthy mouth of yours when there was such a cute little human with you~" Izaya announced. Suddenly, all of Kasuka's vocabulary left him instead, as well as any thoughts he may have been thinking at that moment. Did he mention his heart stopped? ... Yup, no heartbeats to be heard. He's officially dead._

_But, fortunately, that little episode was all in his head and when he could rationally think once more, he was alone where he stood. Izaya and Shizuo were on the other end of the street by now, with the blonde chucking various objects at the other while the ravenett nimbly dodged every single projectile with grace, leaving the youngest to compose himself before inevitably walking back home on his lonesome, a small blush still on his cheeks when he shut the door to his room and started smiling to himself like a moron._

* * *

_[Present Time]_

Kasuka was suddenly nudged awake by his driver, the man having called him 4 times to announce that they'd arrived at the actor's home but getting no response for the last 10 minutes. "Sorry, Toren-san. I didn't even realize I fell asleep." he admitted with a small sigh, seeing the driver smile and nod before letting him out of the car.

The ravenett made his way inside before going straight to his room, deciding he could take a shower in the morning instead. For now he just wanted to sleep and maybe push away the thoughts of how him and Izaya would act near each other once Monday came around.


	13. Life Is Nuts

_ [Kasuka's POV] _

The actor stepped onto set Monday morning, sighing softly to himself as he wondered how his day would go.  _Well, Izaya could just not show up.. Then I could lie and say "she's" still sick. Or Izaya could be mad at me for acting like a complete ass and he's already here spreading rumors about me._ The ravenett looked over the set quickly, not spotting his crush anywhere at the moment.  _That's a bit comforting..._

Kasuka simply went to his dressing room after that, trying on another couple outfits they'd tailored for him to wear. They were a bit stuffier than the ones before but he could manage wearing them for an hour or two of filming if he focused on something else. He quickly tried to get them off again, a much harder task than wearing them, before he heard someone shout Izaya's stage name. The way it was said was almost like when Shizuo spotted him, but something was definetly different. The person actually seemed happy to see "Kobayashi-san".

He peaked out his door to see their tech-guy, Dong-Yul or something like that, running up to the raven with his arms spread wide like he wanted a hug.  _Good luck with that. If he wasn't on set you'd get slashed into pieces._ The actor didn't bother himself much that he was peaking on them, though they were out in the open in the first place, but it did bother him that a guy that didn't even know him for a month was worrying over him and his health like a concerned puppy.  _I've known him 5 years - technically longer - why can't I do that!?_

And before he could actually depress himself, he finally closed his door and went back to undressing. "Don't bother, it'll never happen.. Besides, he's probably asexual, with how long he hasn't dated anyone and always obsesses over  _everyone_." he muttered to himself, trying to rationalize why this crush of his should have stopped years ago. Really it should have never started. With all that his brother had told him about the man back then, even if he did look like an angel, he should have just took what Shizuo said to be true and dropped it right there. After all, everything he'd announced had been at least a little bit true in the end.

But no, for 5 years, while he has still dated other people - mostly girls, mind you - his heart won't listen to his head no matter how utterly ridiculous and stupid the entire idea of dating Orihara Izaya seemed. It was like he was trying to get himself killed. From watching what little he'd seen of Izaya for the passed couple years, all he'd seen is him cause suicides - it was so fucking obvious Izaya caused those, how many people would all throw themselves off the same building within a 10 mile radius of Izaya's home if not having someone to guide them? It's not like the building-of-choice is all the tall, if someone had consciously decided to do it on their own, they would pick a much more logical drop-off point! - irritate his brother and practically destroy any chances the blonde had at finding a job besides Tom-san's if the need ever arrived, and also just bugging the populace in total because of his stalker-ish habits...

In that last one's defense, he is an informant, but Izaya looks so happy doing it that you might as well say it's a supporting-hobby.

Then on the other hand, if he did manage to get with Izaya, Shizuo would know well ahead of time what they were up to either by Izaya's taunting or by the blonde smelling the informant on Kasuka's own person. That could lead to him, for the first time in possibly an eternity, getting a broken arm because of his brother's rage. Nothing beyond that would happen, his brother had amazing progress with his anger when around family, but that didn't change that Kasuka would have been dating the man that tormented him nearly every day of his life since their sophomore-year.

The ravenett sat in front of his mirror, planning on not moving from their until someone came to fetch him for shooting.  _Either way, if I get with him, it's a lose-lose situation.. Out of all the people I could have picked on this Earth, I had to chose the one that would get me killed, huh?_

* * *

_[Izaya's POV]_

Izaya mentally groaned and nodded his head with a small smile as Dong-Yul went on and on about how worried he was the "light of his life" while Kobayashi-san was "sick". It was agonizing to smile at someone when they were doing this but at least it was almost amusing. The guy was in a form of distress after all.

"I swear Kobayashi-san, I would have been the first to your house, I would have been there before even YOU got there so I could care for you - but Mr. Watane is so mean, ya know? He made me go through stock again all by myself and make sure every function was working on EVERY camera. Can you believe that!?" Dong-Yul cried, pulling Izaya in for another hug. Which, in most forms of the word, wasn't a hug. It was just arms around Izaya crushing him unhappily into another beings chest.

"Well.. That is your job." he opted to say, which was the closest thing he could say to not being rude at the moment. He really just wanted to shove the guy away and get out of the hug but with an iron grip, one to rival Shizu-chan's, he had little choice than to endure it.

Dong-Yul, unable to see Izaya's inner turmoil, looked like he'd just been shot. "Why does everyone say that!? I just want to take care of my Goddess! Is that so wrong? And with staying up till 11 each night to get it done fast, you still got better before I could visit.." the Korean whined, dropping his head on Izaya's shoulder.

_Okay, enough is enough.._ "D-Dong-Yul?" Izaya choked out, faking a couple coughs. "Actually, I think I'm still a bit sick. Could you go get me some green tea?" he asked, tilting his head to the side with a cuter smile.  _Fuck, this is almost degrading.._ Dong-Yul jerked up and away from Izaya, nodding stupidly.

"Of course, my Goddess! I'll get it for you in no time." he announced, sprinting off in the direction of the break-room. Izaya called after him to add a very precise amount of sugar, which he got another nod to, and once the man was out of sight Izaya dove into a random room to try and lessen Dong-Yul's chances of finding him in the next ten minutes.

"Why is everyone here utterly insane?" he grumbled to himself, only to hear shuffling behind him.

"Izaya?" The ravenett perked up and turned around, snickering when he saw Kasuka again.

"Greetings, Heiwajima. Looks like I need to steal your room for a while. The humans here are driving me nuts, surprisingly." he said with a sly smirk, watching the actor's neutral expression again before turning to the door and using the peep-hole to watch through the door.

"Hello to you as well, but what are you doing now?" Kasuka asked behind him, shuffling around for what Izaya suspected was their script.  _How predictable, I show up and he wants to get work done._  Izaya mused in his mind, smirking more as he kept watching the other humans.

"Isn't it obvious, Heiwajima? I'm studying my beloved humans. Obviously, from a more favored distance." the informant muttered, eyes sharpening when Dong-Yul finally came back out and scampered around looking for him, only being slowed down by the tea he was gingerly holding and trying not to spill. Suddenly, to Izaya's surprise, there was a small, sharp pain in his side and he spun around quickly, deeply upset that he still didn't have his flick-blade with him.

"What the-" "I pinched you, smart guy." Kasuka interrupted him, handing him a script nonchalantly. "If you're going to be in my room we might as well got some work done. I don't want you being a stalker in my room to become a habit." the smaller man announced, locking the door to his room before heading to the couch.

"If you don't want me spying, then why did you lock the door with me still in here?"

"Because, as sly as you are Izaya, it's obvious you're hiding. So if whoever you're hiding from knocks, you can hide behind the changing curtain before I let them in." And with that, Kasuka's face was buried in his script again. "Just sit down, I need help with this line. I have no idea how to say it."

Izaya watched him for a long moment before sitting beside him, almost pouting at how this turned out.  _Great, now a Heiwajima is helping me. After **surprising me**  and before  **demanding me**  to do something.. If I knew this job would be so interesting, I would have started the minute I got out of college._


	14. Stop Staring

_ [Kasuka's POV] _

_Okay, he hasn't tried to tick me off since coming in here and hasn't really acted too much towards me like he does to Shizuo either.. I guess he isn't too pissed._ The ravenett reasoned to himself, glancing up at Izaya every 5 seconds when the other was saying a secondary line to his own, then stopping and staring at his own script when it was his turn. It was just like every other practice session they had had since starting but he knew he probably looked tenser than normal, and if Izaya was as perceptive now as he'd always been, then any minute now he'd question all the looks Kasuka was giving him.

"Heiwajima, if you really can't focus for even a minute we're never gonna get this right." Izaya announced, proving Kasuka's thoughts to be true. The red-eyed informant was glancing at him with a brow raised, expecting an answer of some kind. Kasuka only shrugged.

"Sorry, it's just weird knowing it's actually been you this whole time. Especially when you make such a convincing heroine." the actor announced, watching the informant smirk a bit and sit back.

"I can't help if I'm the master of trickery - even the cross-dressing kind." he spouted, almost like it was an amazing feat to achieve. For all Kasuka knew, the raven could have been trying this out since high-school and only just perfected it.  _If that's the case then shooting him down wouldn't be good at all._

"Yes, even the cross-dressing kind. Sadly you're not the master of masking your scent from my brother." Kasuka muttered, looking down at his script again absently, flipping through the pages to look even more occupied. He felt Izaya's eyes on him and when no reply came, he knew the other was waiting again. "He smelled you on my clothes before. But apparently you'd already gotten to him, so he thought it was his own outfit." It wasn't all that far-fetched in reality, but seeing as he'd been at fault for Shizuo not being able to relax in his own home that night, he still felt bad.

Despite any reaction he expected from the informant, a small bout of honest laughter was not one of them. He turned to look at Izaya, now being the silent and curious one. Izaya took notice and looked at him, ruby eyes shining in amusement. Kasuka could have stared at them for hours but he needed to focus if he didn't want to get caught in his crush. That would definetly be the end of him.

"Nothing, nothing. Your protozoan-brother is still as dim witted as ever, is all." Izaya sighed, letting out a last laugh as he picked up his script again, turning to lay back on the couch so he was more comfortable.

"He isn't, but besides the point, isn't that why you still love chasing him?" Kasuka watched the informant jerk at the word love, scowling as he went to sit up. "Not like that, Izaya. I'm just saying, there must be something to keep you entertained. You've been chasing him around since your sophomore year and haven't let up even a little bit; terrorizing him all the time, even when you and him are probably supposed to be working." he continued to point out, staring at the pillow Izaya was resting his head on since he still didn't want to stare at the man himself.

"Because he's a monster, one that has yet to be caged and tamed. I'm just letting him go through his natural murderous instincts for a while each week so he doesn't destroy a whole city. Admirable of me, don't you think?" Izaya gushed, staring at Kasuka as well who looked at him like he wanted to answer before there was a knock on the door. They both turned at it.

"Hanejima-san? Is Kobayashi-san in there with you? The director wants you both to get on stage for shooting and I can't find her anywhere!" Dong-Yul shouted from the other side of the door, making Izaya cringe in his spot.

"No, she isn't here. Did you check upstairs?" Kasuka called back, getting a curious look from Izaya before he heard a shout of thanks from the man and then the pounding of feet, letting them know he was already far from the door.

"Why did you do that? He's gonna see me if we're out there recording anyway." Izaya pointed out, watching Kasuka stand, stretch and unlock the door while answering.

"Yeah, but you don't like him. So, I'll help you hide a bit longer." was all he said before ditching Izaya in his dressing room to go get on set where the director needed him, once again leaving behind a slightly confused informant.


	15. More Than That

_ [Izaya's POV] _

_Stupid Heiwajimas.. It must definetly be in their DNA to be unpredictable._ Izaya grumbled in his head as he went out of his dressing room in the first outfit they prepared for him, having to wear it for the shoot. Thankfully it hadn't been that one with odd straps, but he knew he'd have to wear that one eventually and inwardly scowled, dreading it. For now he stepped onto the slightly raised platform that Dong-Yul had told him was made to have different levels for each scene, some of them having stairs and some having smaller stages, like ones you'd see as a bar. For once in his time here, Izaya had actually been interested in something the man told him, always loving to find new technology.

And it actually didn't seem like a hassle, the stage moved to where they needed it and Izaya was directed where to stand while stage-hands were placing prop furniture where it all needed to be set. And until it was done, he had nothing to do but stand there with his script and look it over. Until, of course, his co-star walked up to him. "Hanejima-san, is it always like this when things are set up? I feel like a prop.." Izaya muttered to the other man, glancing around to see absolutely no eyes on him except for Kasuka's.

"Yeah, mostly.. We are just here to say lines and dance around for them, after all." Kasuka said back, awfully quiet but still surprising the informant by his tone.  _Wow, and I thought you loved this job.. He has been doing it for a long time though._

"Well, thanks for the warning I guess." Izaya sighed, glancing around the stage again and wondering when they would start. Everything was set up and things were very quiet, everyone giving it just a once-over before they began. When he turned to look back at Kasuka again, he noticed the shorter having a curious look. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just that now I know it's you, I didn't think you would keep up the extra-nice attitude." "All I did was thank you." ".."

Before either of them could make another comment the director announced that they would be starting and that Kasuka should move off the stage. "Break a leg, Karuha-chan."

* * *

_[Kasuka's POV]_

Finally after three hours they were done filming for the day, or at least until Mr. Watane said they should give it another shot. For now all they had to do was check the film for any mistakes and relax. The actor felt like going to his dressing room and taking a small nap on the couch provided, but he caught a glimpse of Izaya standing by the buffet table, looking excitedly at the large plate of Ootoro they had spread out on it.

From here it looked like he was a little kid getting his favorite treat and it made Kasuka let out a small smile before he hid it well and went off towards his dressing room like planned. He dropped onto the couch and held his head in his hands at how obvious he could be making it that he liked Izaya, or Kobayashi, or whatever name the man felt like being called at any point.

Kasuka sighed and opened his hazel eyes again, thinking of the shooting and how naturally Izaya had adjusted to doing what he was told to do. Granted there wasn't much being asked of him since he was new and he didn't have a very big part yet, his scenes would mostly be coming later on, but he did it with such ease. Yet..  _"I feel like a prop.."_

Yup, that's what he said. And honestly, hearing it had made Kasuka mad, at least for the time he'd kept talking with him. He himself had been doing this so long he forgot about thinking the same thing when he'd only began, but to see his crush blatantly ignored even by that tech director that was always fawning over him - it was infuriating!  _I'm glad I got to talk with him instead of anyone else though.._ And that thought had made him smile lightly and forget for a second that he'd been upset.

He let out another sigh before sitting up, knowing he shouldn't be thinking like this. "He's a co-worker, and an informant, and the enemy of my brother.. No matter what he does, don't fucking push it." he scolded himself, standing and going out to grab some food for himself, calming down a bit when he noticed Izaya had already raided the Ootoro tray and been off on his own somewhere.  _Good.. I guess._


	16. Number For Your Thoughts?

_ [Izaya's POV] _

Izaya laid on his bed in boredom, arms spread out on either side and his legs hanging off the foot of it while he had his eyes closed in thought.

It wasn't very often that he would stay still like this for so long, thinking of pointless things and important things alike, but even Namie knew better than to disrupt any train of thought he had when in this particular position. It was like a sign when he was laid on his bed exactly like this, a sign that said "I have 100 flick-blades all poised for your throat if you dare speak to me."

There was never a real reason for him getting like this either. One moment he would be up and bouncing around, wondering what his humans were doing, then the next he would be laying like this in pure silence, not even smirking.

It was like he needed a break from being his own bubbly self, needed to be someone he wasn't and just zone out for a while. So that's what he did, letting his mind wander towards anything that was happening recently. For almost two hours he'd sorted through his mind and put things in their places, names and faces of clients, all the info they'd been asking for and info he still needed to find being put in as a mental note with them. It was surprising how easily he could remember things after doing this, like his brain was an actual filing cabinet that he just needed to clean out every now and then.

Finally once he got all of the important stuff out of the way, his mind ran off to ponder meaningless questions-  _"If I had to leave, where would I go?" "How long will it be until Shizu-chan finally dies?" "Who would be the one to finally tame him?" "What's Kasuka doing?"_

All of them very ignorant and meaningless questions, but he asked himself anyways and stayed on a question until he tired of it. He got to the last question on his mental list and hummed softly, not knowing what he could really expect from Shizu-chan's brother.

_He could be doing yoga. He said something about a morning routine.. He could be visiting Shizu-chan, telling him all about the series they were working on or asking about Celty and the others, since he isn't that social... He could be thinking about how much he hates his job._

That last thought made Izaya blink and furrow his brows as he laid on his bed, opening his eyes and staring at the ceiling.  _Or he could be thinking about how much he loves his job._  But that thought didn't distract him from the previous one, the informant now pondering an even stupider question, since it didn't involve himself at all and wouldn't really effect him either.  _Does he hate his job? He keeps asking for more work even though he has enough money to live comfortably, so he could like it very much.. But he didn't sound too happy on set last week, either..._

_"We are just here to say lines and dance around for them, after all."_ Yup, he'd said it alright. Sounded pretty tired too.

Izaya let out a sigh and another hum as he made himself sit up, knowing now that even if he had just been doing routine thinking, this thought would bug him for a while if he didn't get a hint to the answer. He picked himself up, strode out to his living to grab a cup of coffee and then sat down at his desk, turning on his laptop - all the while ignoring his pesky assistant.

"You finally get done pondering life and all of it's mysteries?" she yawned, flipping through a magazine since she finished her paperwork about an hour ago. Izaya not having as many assignments meant less papers for her to deal with. Izaya didn't even answer her, just sipping his coffee and staring at the screen as it booted up.

Finally the icon went away and he could get on the internet, searching up various information until he got what he wanted and turned it off again, grabbing the phone he'd used under "Kobayashi's" name and typing in a new contact quickly. He scurried up to his room, phone and coffee cup in hand, and shut the door with his foot, not wanting to deal with his assistant today even if he was done with thinking.

He crawled under the covers and started texting Kasuka, finally letting out his first smirk of the day when he got a reply in less than a moment. "Let's see if you're still so unpredictable, Heiwajima~"


	17. Beep Beep

_[Kasuka's POV]_

Kasuka opened his eyes slowly as he woke up, sleeping in late while he still had the chance, seeing as it was Saturday. Even on the weekends he never had much free-time, at least in the morning since, for some reason, people assumed he enjoyed having brunch with other people. He didn't.

But now he could just sit back, relax, not worry about a thing-  _*Beep Beep*_

_..What?_ Kasuka turned his head to the side to see his phone blinking to show he had a new message.  _But it's my free-day.. Or is it?_ He asked himself, sitting up slightly and grabbing the phone to see who it is. From the simple message,  **[Good morning, Hanejima-san.]** , he didn't get many hints either. So he just texted back,  **[Good morning]**  as he inspected the number and saw it was unfamiliar to him.

_Dammit.. If it's Tanemi again, I'm getting a restraining order... Again.._

A reply quickly came back and, unknowing to the actor reading it, the sender was smirking in glee as he got to play with the other half of the Heiwajima breed.

**[How's my favorite co-star doing?]**

Kasuka stared at it, taking a moment to process since he still had only woke up and not even gotten out of bed. Then he rubbed his eyes and read it again, determining quickly who was on the other side of this. "Wait.. How did.. Why.. Oh my god!" he stuttered, finally slapping himself in the forehead simply from shock. Despite the fact that nothing had really been said yet, he still had a blush on his face that rarely showed, even when his make-up artist demanded he put on some to seem flushed for confession scenes. The ravenett knew he never gave the other his number and his boss and co-workers would never give it away to someone without asking him either, so that meant Izaya went through the trouble of finding it himself, just to speak with him. He didn't know whether to be honored or afraid.

Kasuka quickly picked up his phone again and muttered to himself as he texted back,  **[I'm your only co-star. But I'll take the compliment. How are you, Izaya?]**

_Okay, being a smart-ass worked last time and he started the conversation like that so it can't go too wrong, right? Yeah.. Maybe._

And to distract himself from the possibility of irritating the informant; he grabbed his phone, got out of bed, threw on a shirt and started walking down to make himself breakfast. His stomach was growling so he would rather fix that than think over the many ways this conversation could go.  _What if he's texting to tell me he finally killed Shizuo..?_

Nevermind, he wasn't hungry anymore. The actor sat down at the dining table with his phone sitting in front of him, still being polite enough to wait for a reply but getting more tense by the minute as he stared at the device, wanting to voice his question quickly.

It buzzed against the table and he didn't even let it beep before grabbing it and opening it, scanning over the words faster than he could actually interpret them. That didn't help his comprehension at all though, so he read it once more a bit slower and tried to see if there was any hidden tone of mockery or fulfillment in them.

**[I may be your only co-star but I'm a damn good one! You'd be bored without your God, admit it.]**

And Kasuka read it a third time to make sure. Nothing too out of the ordinary, at least nothing mocking in a sense of doom. Before he could text back, another message came through.  **[But I'm doing well. Just checking on my lovely humans. It's best to do it now before that Beast comes and distracts me later.]**

The ravenett sat back in his chair at that, letting out a sigh of relief. If he was complaining about him then Shizuo must be safe. The actor mulled over what to do before quickly shooting him a reply as he stood.

**[You seem very cheery about it. Was there anything you wanted?]**

He set his phone down on the counter and went over to the coffee maker, glancing at all the different flavors he had to choose from and sighing when he couldn't even find the one he wanted. "I tell them I don't need anything, and they bring me ten boxes of K-cups.." Kasuka muttered to himself, staring boredly at the pile in front of him.  _One man can only drink so much coffee, I don't need all these packages!_

He heard the beep of his phone again and gave up, shoving all the discarded ones to the side and heading to the other counter.

**[Yes, well, I was just thinking of how our first episode is going to air on Thursday also. So many of my humans watching their God's work and being cheerful all at once. It'll be beautiful~]**

**[We're going to be having a party to celebrate and watch the premiere together, ya know?]**

The actor perked up at that, smiling a bit to himself. Not only was the premiere his favorite part of the job, but he was also happy to hear that Izaya was excited for it. And the way he said it could be mistaken for Izaya asking around a date. He blushed once again at that thought but forced himself to stop it, even if he didn't put away his smile for once. Kasuka was in his own home, he didn't need to be self-conscious or overly neutral.

**[Yes, I know. It's tradition.]** Kasuka clicked send before he could erase it, not intending to be as even with the other as he usually was. Quickly, he started typing another message.  **[But it will be fun. If you'd like, I can come pick you up. It's your first premiere, after all.]**

_Uggh, why did I do that? Now he'll definetly know I want something, his IQ is higher if not the same as mine.._  The young Heiwajima hunched over the counter at that, dropping his forehead on it.  _Daaaaaammit.._

_*Beep Beep*_

**[Alright, I'll take you up on your offer. But if it isn't fun then you owe me a favor, Heiwajima.]**

_.. Well.. That went better than expected. Nothing really snarky.. _He never answered with that he wanted._  _He stared at the text and started thinking. He gave a small grin at the screen before he hummed to himself and sat it down.  _At least I got a date out of it._  Then he started pondering how the party would go, actually beginning making his coffee as he wondered how Izaya was in parties _._  Probably like he usually was, smirking and fashionable and probably ready to taunt a few guys or girls into doing what he wanted. Kobayashi-san would probably be reserved and dainty and quiet though...

Kasuka's eyes widened a bit before he grabbed his phone again, trying to type as calmly as possible since this thought shouldn't in the very least excite him or make him feel like bubbling into laughter.  **[Izaya, I should warn you that these parties are usually black-tie.]**

**[Yes, I realize that! What kind of God am I if I don't even know how to be formal?]**

**[True, true. Gods come with all kinds of knowledge and experience.. But I must say Izaya, with never seeing you in one, I didn't expect you to have such a great insight on dresses.]**


	18. Dazzle Me

_ [Izaya's POV] _

_This is embarrassing... At least Kasuka said I don't have to wear heels._ The informant thought to himself in the dressing room, turning slowly and trying to look at himself in the third dress he'd tried on that day.

The man was currently in a well-known store for dresses of all kinds, which Izaya was actually very glad Kasuka knew about it since that also meant it was for the flat-chested variety, or in his case, the cross-dressing variety. Said actor was currently waiting outside the dressing room for him to come out and gauge how he looked, being there to double check that the dress he picked didn't draw too much attention to anything that could give him away. Also to double check if the informant had a fashion sense for dresses and didn't come to the party looking like a whore or a child trying to dress like their mother.

Izaya let out a small sigh before walking out from the curtain again, not looking too thrilled with the one he had on. He'd grabbed a few, as well as Kasuka, and was quickly put into a room to try them ALL, which in his mind was cutting into what little hours he had to do informant work.  _Ah, my beloved humans will have to wait again..._

Putting that aside, he was once again sent back into the dressing room with a shake of the head, which he was actually thankful for.  _Why did I grab this one again? It makes me look like a purple moose.._  And he quickly shed it to slide on another one. There were dresses in a variety of colors, most of them dark and a couple of them flashy, even fewer a combination of the two - and as he picked through them he quickly tossed away the ones he thought were obnoxious.  _Why is this so haaaard!?_

_Oh yeah, you're a man, you aren't made for dresses. Well, not naturally probably.. What was that guy's name again, the one everyone fawns over on Tumblr? He looked pretty good in one and he's more masculine that me! Stupid, beautiful humans.._

In the middle of all of his aggravated thoughts, he'd slipped on another dress at random and walked out, presenting himself to the man without looking down at himself. To say the very least, Kasuka looked shocked. "What is it, Heiwajima? Are you losing IQ points by being here too?" he sighed yet snapped, putting his hands on his hips before turning to see himself in the mirror, wondering why the other was gaping at him like an imbecile.

When he looked in the mirror, he gaped too, then let out a pleased smirk. "Damn, which one of us picked this up?" he mumbled, looking at himself and actually thinking he could get used to a dress, if all of them fit him this well. Somehow one of them had slipped in a champagne colored dress with a tight top, a single shoulder-strap on his left side and the fabric was what some people would call lopsided and what others would call sheared. Meaning, one side of the dress (the right) would run down his leg to almost touch the floor while the other side went down to only a little under his knee, slanting sideways to meet each other down the middle. The whole thing wasn't over the top either, it hugged his top half comfortably and showed off what femininity he had in his build, plus it wasn't flashy - it seemed to shimmer when he walked and moved but he wasn't a disco ball or some glitter fiend.

The man gave himself another once over in the mirror and did a spin to make it frill out like he'd seen on TV and after that he couldn't stop grinning, wondering what his co-workers would think when he came to the party in this. Speaking of co-workers, he'd forgotten to glance at Kasuka again and see if he was breathing.

"Hey, Heiwajima... Earth to Kasuka!" he demanded, getting closer to the other and leaning down to be in his face. The informant suddenly got an idea to snap the other out of it, smirking slightly. "Kasuka, if you keep thinking about my imaginary boobs then I might show them to you later~" he cooed, seeing Kasuka's face turn a shade he didn't know possible before shaking his head and going straight faced again.  _That certainly worked~_

"Why would I want to see that? Imaginary or not, they're probably way too small to be enjoyable." Kasuka replied, a bit too quickly for Izaya to suspect he even filtered that before it came through. Filter or not, Izaya gave laughed and pulled away to go back in the changing room.  _Still such an interesting human.._

"You're just unworthy of them." he called out, changing into his ordinary clothes since he'd made his decision. Izaya left the mass of discarded dresses in the changing room and pranced out, humming to himself as he went to the cashier with Kasuka in tow. He handed the lady his card to pay and she took it, glancing between them for a second before finally swiping it.

"Isn't it normal for your boyfriend to pay?" she asked softly, probably not expecting an answer, but the two glanced at each other anyway. "We aren't dating." Izaya said briefly, taking his purchase and card back. "Really? But you two look so cute together~" she commented, giving them a cheerful smile.

Izaya just glanced at Kasuka, seeing him blank faced as usual, if not a bit more flustered behind his mask. Yes, he could see through it occasionally, but it was mostly what his eyes gave away and it was only ever a little at a time. How irritating..

Either way, the other man didn't respond to that at all so Izaya and him quickly left, getting into the convertible that was waiting for them outside, since it drew a lot less attention than Kasuka's limo. The driver asked where they wanted to go and Kasuka shrugged, glancing at his companion. Izaya hummed thoughtfully before shrugging as well. "Just take us back to my house, I guess." the informant suggested, getting a nod before they went on their way.

Unexpectedly, the drive there was actually very quiet, neither of them knowing what to talk about since they had done most of the chatting and snickering on the way there. Not that it was unpleasant, not at all. Izaya had recently gotten used to the lapses they had when together, even on set when they had both tired of practicing and didn't want to leave the couch in either of their dressing rooms. It was actually calming, a surprising contrast to when Shizuo constantly shows at him when in the vicinity.

They finally got to Izaya's apartment building and without really thinking about it, Izaya allowed Kasuka to walk him to his floor, getting on the elevator together as he hummed away. He didn't know the name of the song but it had just been playing in the car and he decided he enjoyed it. The two didn't say anything until they finally reached Izaya's door, the informant unlocking it and stepping inside before realizing Kasuka had stopped following him. "You not coming in?" Izaya asked, actually surprised once again. It wasn't often that Kasuka didn't follow him around like a lost puppy - albeit a very bored looking puppy.

The other ravenett shook his head, giving the man a rare smile. "No, I have to go home and take a shower before Shizuo comes to visit. If I don't then he'll get irritated again." he explained, making Izaya nod slowly as he thought it made sense. For some reason, the informant was almost sad to see him leaving but that was probably because their slight routine was being disrupted.  _I always did favor knowing what others would do next._

"Alright then, I'll see you at the premiere Heiwajima. And you said you would pick me up, so don't be late or else I'll feed you to the Eastern gangs." Izaya threatened, knowing it didn't hold as much threat as usual since Kasuka was a sort of.. ally, in his mind. He could be trusted, so it would be a waste to throw him away like that. Either way, Kasuka nodded still smiling.

"I'll be prepared for the consequences then. Have a good night, Izaya." he said, turning away from the door with small wave that was returned. Before the door shut, he turned back to him, his face blank once again and almost looking hesitant. "By the way, uh.. The dress really does look nice on you." he noted, before turning and scurrying down the hall to the elevator.

Izaya stayed where he was, staring after the man with a calculating glance. After the ravenett was out of sight, he shut the door and leaned on it, still thinking.  _You sounded much too sincere right there, Kasuka. I thought now wasn't the time for acting._


	19. The Limelight Feels Nice Beside You

_ [Kasuka's POV] _

_Okay, you can do this.. It's not_ _**really** _ _a date, so if you screw up a little bit then nothing's lost! Just don't mess up a lot... Alright, I can do that._

Kasuka was thinking all of this through as he walked to Izaya's door, getting chills down his spine finally when he'd gotten off the elevator a moment ago and realized he actually had to do this. He wasn't thinking it through like he had for the last two days, he actually had to go get Izaya, go to a party together and act natural while on the inside he felt like he was going to throw up the thousands of butterflies that were currently having a pre-party flutter.

_Don't think about it, that makes it worse!_ He scolded himself as he raised his hand to knock, taking a deep breath before getting an answer not even 3 minutes later.

"What did I tell you about being late, Heiwajima?" was the first thing Izaya said as he opened the door, making Kasuka nervously glance passed him towards the clock. When he saw that it was only a couple minutes passed the last time he'd checked, he'd calmed down.

"I'm not late. I don't think either of us noticed this, but we didn't set a time for me to pick you up at." Kasuka pointed out, being the voice of reason once again. It seemed that even if Izaya was the one that had caused his anxiety, speaking with him made it go away pretty quickly. Izaya opened his mouth to reply before shutting it again and glancing behind him at the clock.

"I guess you got me there, but isn't the party going to start really soon?" the ravenett huffed, making Kasuka wonder why he seemed so out of it suddenly.  _Don't tell me he's nervous too.._

"It will start soon, but we could still relax for 15 minutes before leaving. The party begins at 7:00 and knowing some of the people working with us, it may not really begin until almost 7:20." he said softly, hoping it would calm the other man instead of make him more irritable. He got his wish, seeing Izaya lean against the door more with a silent sigh, only being caught by the motion of his shoulders.

"Alright then.."

Kasuka lifted a brow, concern filling his stomach. "Izaya, do you not feel well? You don't seem as excited to go as you did earlier." That made the informant look up at him, taking a minute before motioning for him to come inside as he walked back to the living room and sat down on the couch.

"I feel fine, honestly I'm just a bit stressed." Kasuka looked at him expectantly as he sat beside him, not caring if this took longer to get through than the time they had to not be late. Izaya noticed him waiting for an explanation and continued. "My boss finally got fed up with me not completing as many tasks as I did for him before. He just called, yelling at me to get three assignments done, at least, by the end of next week or I can stop expecting his paychecks. Plus.." Izaya paused, running his fingers through his hair once before glancing at his co-star. "He informed me that he knows what I've been doing this whole time while ignoring him, so if I take a few too many steps out of line, I can say goodbye to this hobby of mine."

Kasuka knew what that meant. Izaya was an informant - a damn good one - and if he was supposedly being relieved of his duties, someone like the boss of such a powerful asset wouldn't let it walk away into someone else's hands later. If Izaya didn't start pulling his old weight around, he was going to get hurt or killed.

And without realizing it, Kasuka had clenched his hands into fists as he thought this over, eyes shut to try and keep his usual composure. He almost blew up anyway until Izaya put a hand on his shoulder, making the actor glance at him again.

"Heiwajima, don't be as easily terrorized as you brother, relax. I just need a favor from you, alright? Cover me at work when I say that I'm not feeling good or that I'm having family issues." Izaya asked, confusing the actor for a second before he understood, slowly nodding his head.

"Yeah, sure, I can do that." Kasuka finallly replied, leaning back on the couch to recollect himself.  _He's not gonna get hurt, this is Izaya we're talking about. He's fought with Shizuo for years and lives to tell the tale, that should be enough proof already._ The two glanced at each other again before Kasuka looked down to see Izaya was still in his new dress, reminding him of the party. "We should get going before we're a lot more than fashionably late." he muttered, standing up and helping Izaya double check that everything was in place with his disguise before leaving, heading off to the premiere in comfortable silence.

* * *

_[Izaya's POV]_

Izaya got out of the limo with the help of Kasuka's driver, not noticing that Kasuka had tried to come over and do it himself. He took a deep breath before smiling at his co-star and walking with him into the hotel where they were using a meeting hall for their party, flat-screen TV set up at one end so they could watch their first big episode all together while people who were there to hang out and not watch it could stay put at the back and raid the table of food.

He hadn't quite decided which he would be doing yet, but if there was Ootoro on the table then he would probably be trying to do both. Knowing Kasuka, he'd probably be at the back of the crowd to watch it, smiling to himself.  _Still don't understand how he can be so blank all the time when he's obviously happy.._

The informant brushed it off, just letting it go for once and focusing on here and now. He was at a party, a premiere for his own work, with people that for some reason enjoy his company and wanted him to be there with them for the viewing, even if he didn't talk to almost 90% of them and didn't bother remembering their names. He was going to at least try to enjoy himself.

Apparently he wasn't making a very good effort of it at the moment though, feeling Kasuka lightly touch his arm to get his attention.

Kasuka looked up at him, hazel eyes for once not hiding anything and letting the informant know the actor was delighted to be there. "Relax for a little while. Nothing can happen while we're here, there are guards outside the door and every entrance to the building." he muttered to him, obviously thinking Izaya was still worried about his boss.  _Sweet, but it's not helping..  
_

Before Izaya could keep thinking, looking around the room for something to do or someone to talk to, Kasuka took the initiative of wrapping his arm around the taller man's and guiding him over to a group of their co-workers, Mr. Watane being one of them.

"Hanejima-san, we see you have a lovely date for the night." their director joked, making Izaya blush subtly and have Kasuka nod, still with a very black exterior.

"Yes, but only for the night." the ravenett joked back, looking over at his co-star while Izaya just gave him a small glare.

"Flattery gets people nowhere, Hanejima-san. If you want a date, you'd need to ask in about 5 years." he replied, blushing more at the looks he got for his behavior, momentarily remembering he was supposed to be using his shy-side while at the party. Just because Kasuka was beside him didn't mean he could be himself entirely. It also didn't help that some of the men and women were eyeing him in his dress, either with intrigue or envy, and while it did boost his ego quite a bit there were a few stares going places he would rather not be stared at.

He wasn't the only one to notice. "Kobayashi-san, would you like to share a drink? They have a mini bar set up over in the other corner." Kasuka suggested, grabbing Izaya's attention from half being on the eyes over him and the other half on the conversation Mr. Watane was trying to lead, joking about some time he'd gone to a signing where he fell right on his face.

"Hm? Oh, yes, I'd like one." Izaya muttered in reply, taking note of how Kasuka moved to his other side before walking with him to the mini bar.  _Human shield, just what any woman or impostor needs._ he joked to himself, letting out a small smile as they got there and the bartender asked what they wanted. It crossed his mind how identical bartender outfits were, since he could almost laugh aloud at the thought of Shizuo being behind the counter with a very angry expression going at anyone who dared ask him for service.

Kasuka ordered a Sea Breeze while Izaya ordered a Rum and Coke, substituted for Dr. Pepper on demand. Neither of them were too into alcohol and both not quite used to drinking it. "Your drink is a little fruity, Heiwajima. Can't handle vodka alone?" "I could ask the same of you. Rum is even easier to handle, but I never expected you were a Dr. Pepper man."

They both actually let out a small smile as their banter and continued to chat like that until 8 o'clock rolled around, surprisingly many less glances being cast at the informant as the night went on. Once it turned 8, every one looked over at the flat-screen set up for them, the channel turning to their network and every waited as the last commercial ended. Their show began playing, the intro being simple but appealing and everyone cheered for each other as it began playing.

All of them knew the episode by heart now, every one taking a part in making it, but just seeing it up on screen and knowing hundreds, maybe thousands, would be watching was such an amazing feat. It even made Izaya smile brightly and clap, not wanting to try and hear his own cheers over everyone's booming voices.

After the initial cheering, a large portion of the group turned to the main stars and watched expectantly, confusing Izaya until he saw Kasuka stand up and hold his hand open for the other to take. He did, standing up himself and following the younger male's lead as they bowed for their co-workers, hearing another loud cheer go up and many words of praise being said before they sat back down together - Izaya blushing and Kasuka smiling freely for a moment while everyone else quieted down.

All in all, it was the best party Izaya had ever gone to, and if he got to do this again - soon or sometime in the future - he was sure he wouldn't be disappointed.


	20. Brother Dearest...

_ [Kasuka's POV] _

The actor sat at the table of his home, hands folded in his lap and eyes cast down as he waited in silence for something to be said.

Across from him sat his blond sibling, arms crossed and eyes burning a hole straight through his head as the debt collector looked for something to say.

Kasuka didn't need to be told he was in trouble, that look given to him when he opened his door and found Shizuo on his couch said it all. The blonde was pissed and trying to go through whatever technique had been helping him lately to calm down before he lost his temper in the middle of a seemingly important conversation.

The younger brother couldn't even think of what could have made the other so mad until he realized that in the last month since the party he'd taken Izaya to, him and the informant had been back and forth at each other's homes whenever Izaya wasn't too busy with catch-up assignments. And with how Shizuo's nose worked, he could probably smell whatever it was he smelled on the man from their last time hanging out 4 days ago.

There was another few moments of silence as even the air stood still waiting for his sibling to speak. "Kasuka." There it was... "I want an explanation."

_Okay, I have a couple options. First, play dumb and keep the trust in him you've had since kindergarten that he won't kill you. Might work.._

_Second, tell him everything that has happened since you got the job and feel his wrath for it quickly to get it over with, then deal with Izaya when he finds out that Shizuo found out. Not very comforting..._

_Third, tell him what you can and hope for the best... Yeah, sure, why not.._

"Shizuo, I know you don't like this already but I can't tell you what's going on. I'm sorry." Kasuka forced out, always having issues lying or deceiving his brother. It was like all of his acting skills suddenly left him when talking to the blond and he had no idea how or why, but it strangely urked him. He didn't like manipulating people, especially not his brother, but he seriously couldn't even do it once if he tried?  _Frustrating..._

"What the fuck do you mean you can't tell me? I'm your brother! And if that flea is anywhere near you, I want to fucking know why!" Shizuo shouted, his voice quickly loosing the restraints he put on it but his muscles not even twitching. That was a good sign of improvement. When Kasuka didn't respond, the blond gritted his teeth. "Kasuka, I've warned you about him, haven't I? I thought I made it perfectly fucking clear that anything that bug touches, dies! Slowly and painfully, it dies! Do you not understand that!?"

"You haven't died.." the ravenett muttered, not realizing he had said it until he looked up to see Shizuo's stunned face. Sure, it wasn't normal for the younger Heiwajima to stand up about anything, let alone stand up to brother about something. It was almost unheard of. He used to just nod and let the other know he understood before doing what he said. For this chain of events to be happening, Shizuo's brain must be pounding away in his skull to make up for his immobile fists.

Shizuo gaped for a second before closing his mouth again to gather his thoughts, watching his sibling's steel gaze as the younger felt more courage. "If he's so deadly then how come you haven't died, or me, or his sisters or his boss? You keep calling him a flea and a bug, but he's a person - just like he keeps calling you a monster, but you're just a person. Just because you hate him doesn't make him anymore dangerous than he would be without you around, that's not how people work." Kasuka explained, slowly seeing more disbelief and shock fill his brother's expression, making him debate for a moment to stop.

But he meant what he said and, in his mind, this chance would never happen again. He never spoke his mind for no reason, or at least he didn't talk to people for no reason, so unless Shizuo conveniently walked into his home while Izaya was present this whole conversation would never get the chance to take place again. He saw Shizuo open his mouth to say something and couldn't stop himself, cutting off the blond. He barely noticed that as he spoke the words came out faster and a little louder with each sentence.

"I get that you hate him and he kinda hates you, but you two don't have to isolate the other. He lets you keep your friends, you don't go seeking out anyone he could possibly hold dear either. You don't even seem to think of him as a threat to the other people near him then, so why would he be anymore a threat to me? When I treat him like the human he is, like all those other people around him would!?  _I_  don't hate him and he doesn't hate  _me_ , and if you could see what he's actually like when he's not running around trying to be something or defending himself from gangs and shit, then you would probably love him too!"

Kasuka finished what was on his mind before snapping his mouth shut and staring down at his hands again, hoping Shizuo hadn't caught the last sentence. Sure, the blond didn't care that he was gay and, if he had picked his words right, then he could eventually stop caring that Izaya came over to hang out every once in a while. But hanging out with the man's worst enemy and showing actual, deep to his heart affection for him were two entirely different things.

The actor didn't want to glance up. He wouldn't be able to handle the look of disbelief, shock, disappointment, anger; anything his brother's eyes held, he didn't want to see it. It would break him. It would make him feel guilty and awful and want to take his words back when he'd never been so honest about how he felt before. And he didn't want to regret what he'd just said ever in his entire life.

It had begun with a crush; a long, 5-year-long crush and it had formed after 2 months of getting closer and closer and getting to be with the real Izaya into something he could only identify as love. He obviously hadn't felt it before, hell this could be just another level of crush that he didn't know about, and if told that that was the truth then he would accept it in a second. But if anything he'd heard from movies or songs or books or poems or anything that had tried to put that one feeling into a form of words was correct, then he wouldn't deny that he loved the man either.

He would never regret all the time he'd spent with Izaya and his persona, never.. But he could regret ever telling his brother about it. He could and did regret it the moment he heard Shizuo's chair slide away from him, followed by footsteps, heavy and slow, going towards his front door before the actor heard it open and shut, leaving him completely and utterly alone in his home once again.

Kasuka loved Izaya, he really did - but he also loved his family, and he wasn't quite sure which one he was ready to lose over the other just yet.


	21. Don't Break Now

_ [Izaya's POV] _

The informant sat at his desk once again, sighing as he looked over forums and forums of unneeded information for his current assignment. In the last month of trying to please his boss he'd only gotten to go out and do what  _he'd_  wanted to do about 5 times. Not his ideal life-style at the moment, but it was what kept him in his life of luxury and also his secondary life of actual joy.

The more he worked on set the more time he got to spend among very different humans, all of them trying desperately to work together to make something amazing. And from his still fresh memories of the premiere he'd gone to, he came to realize that with all of the various flaws they had doing it, the result was still what they wanted it to be. He found it odd to think that but comforted himself with the fact that their God was one of the main components in making the result, which made it about 20 times more believable.

But sadly they didn't have parties like the one he'd been to for every episode, that would make things repetitive and boring and he always hated things that were boring. That's why he was over joyed when Kasuka suddenly texted him in the middle of gathering information, asking if he could come over to his house and hang out for a little while.  _I'd rather have him here than be doing this all on my own._

**[Yes, you can come over. But I am working, so sorry if it isn't the most fun you've ever had.]**

**[Perfect.]**

Then suddenly the actor wasn't texting back, which confused him.  _That's odd. He usually babbles when texting._

But he blew it off and got back to work, thinking it would take the usual 20 minutes for him to make it to his apartment. Which he was also wrong about. There was a knock on his door in less than 10 and when he opened it, his eyes widened a bit. In all of his time hanging out with the actor, Izaya had never once seen him look upset about something. A little peeved, definetly, Dong-Yul had that effect on people. But never genuinely upset.

And the worst part was, the other wasn't even trying to hide it.

He had bags under his eyes and though they weren't red, the man looked like he was ready cry. Kasuka also wasn't really wearing anything proper like usual. He'd thrown on a pair of random of jeans and a hoodie, having it pulled over his head so he wouldn't get attention from anyone on the streets. Even if that part was normal, he looked generally disheveled under the hoodie as well, his brushed hair going into his eyes and making them look darker than normal.

The informant didn't know what to say, inviting the man in before joining him on the couch. "Kasuka, is everything alright?" Izaya asked tentatively, not used to actually caring if a person said "no". And that was the obvious answer. Fucking no he wasn't alright, he isn't himself and now he's just suddenly showed up and is acting weird!

_Izaya, quit yelling at yourself, that's not normal..._

The actor beside him just shrugged a little and looked up at him, smiling at him even if it looked a bit empty. "I could be better, honestly." Izaya just gave him a blank look at that.

"Yeah, you could be about a thousand percent better. Now what happened?" he demanded, wanting to know who did this. It wasn't every day someone like Kasuka suddenly shows up broken, and he didn't want whatever had caused this to happen again any time soon. It wouldn't do any good for their job or friendship if Kasuka suddenly did a 180 in how he viewed the world and acted.

Kasuka looked down at the table in front of them for a couple minuted, making Izaya think he wasn't going to answer before suddenly he opened his mouth again. "Shizuo came over to my house yesterday." was all he said, and Izaya stared at him, waiting for him to explain. When nothing happened, he bit his lip.

"Yeah, so? You love your brother, that should make you jump for joy." the informant huffed, hoping his usual stand-off-ish behavior would make the teen chuckle. It usually did, at least when they were alone. But it didn't. Kasuka didn't even crack a fucking smile. Izaya dropped his act again when he noticed it wasn't getting results, instead reaching his hand out unsurely to rest it over Kasuka's. He also wasn't used to having to comfort people - if they started crying or something he would laugh and take a picture or just sip on some tea until they finished and continue with what was happening.

_Today sure is messed up, isn't it?_ When Kasuka didn't shake his hand off, he gave it a small squeeze. "Kasuka, what happened yesterday?"

Hazel eyes didn't look up at him until he started speaking again, locking with Izaya's red ones. "He found out that we're friends and I fucked up.. I don't think he'll ever speak to me again." the other finally admitted, shocking the ravenett beside him.

"Shizu-chan..? Well.. Look, I know he hates me, but the monster is surprisingly loyal. I doubt he'd go that far, you're family." Izaya reasoned out loud, saying it like it was a fact. From all that he'd seen, it was a fact. Over anything else the beast of Ikebukuro had kept a tight leash on all of his close friends even when not needed, just so he could be near them and keep them safe, Kasuka being one of the tightest Izaya had stumbled upon.

"You didn't see him yesterday. He was pissed before I even got home, he smelled you in my penthouse.." Kasuka trailed off, eyes getting darker again and Izaya genuinely worried that the man would start crying. Everyone had a limit, even the informant did, so he knew he shouldn't think it was impossible for this to happen. "He hates me.."

Without any other ideas, Izaya scooted closer to the man and let go of his hand, instead moving to wrap his arms around him and hug him tightly. The informant didn't even know if he was doing it right, never being used to hugs except for Dong-Yul's, which weren't very enjoyable in his opinion. But he knew that hugging helped some people, so he would still give it a shot.

He tightened his hold when the other didn't respond, resting his chin on Kasuka's shoulder as he waited for some kind of reaction. Any kind, even being pushed away from him. But he wasn't, and just when he was about to let go, Kasuka's arms found their way around the older man's waist, keeping him still as hands knotted in the back of his shirt as well. It didn't take long for him to feel his shoulder getting wet and he didn't need to ask to know that Kasuka was crying finally, letting him know he'd reached his peak.

The informant didn't move, just closing his eyes as he let Kasuka let out his emotions for once, pushing away the thought of needing to clean this shirt later as well. Instead, he focused on the question running around his mind that was pondering what this pain he felt was. Izaya couldn't place it, it was like his veins had went numb and made him feel empty, the inside of his chest burning uncomfortably and having that same hollow feeling even if he could still feel his heartbeat and every breath just made the feeling get worse.

He didn't like it and he wanted the feeling to go away, but he would question it more later. For now, he just had to keep holding Kasuka and make sure he didn't leave until he was back to being himself. Back to being the real Kasuka.


	22. Dreams Are Just That

_ [Kasuka's POV] _

"So this is really okay, right?" Kasuka asked a third time, glancing at Izaya as he led him upstairs into a guest room, the one he would be staying in for the night and maybe a couple more days. He heard Izaya sigh.

"Yes, Kasuka, it's fine. If it wasn't then I wouldn't have invited you to stay." Izaya announced, making perfect sense but still worrying his guest.

After the episode they'd had earlier in the day, Kasuka had finished crying and Izaya let him go clean himself up while the informant continued working like he was supposed to. Once that was done, Izaya pestered him over and over again if he was really done crying, making the teen cheer up a bit instantly. Just getting that much reassurance that Izaya cared about him would, in a normal situation, make him blush and squeal like a school-girl (in his mind, mind you). Sadly this wasn't a normal situation but it still made him feel a bit more lively.

Once Izaya was completely sure and convinced that Kasuka wasn't going to break down crying again, he let the man decide what they should do, him being a guest in his home after all. Thing was, Kasuka had no plans. He'd just wanted to come see Izaya again, so the two sat in comfortable silence for nearly two hours while Izaya worked on gathering information and Kasuka watched what he was doing with interest. The younger man made a show of turning around and not watching what his passwords and entry-codes to various things were, not wanting to be liable if anything in Izaya's work went wrong, but Izaya didn't seem to take any offense in it. Whenever Kasuka turned around he would see the informant grinning and snickering from his actions, making him perk up a bit more at that as well.

By the time it was getting dark the two were having Russia Sushi take-out together, chattering about what they thought was stupider in a TV show they had put on for background noise. Kasuka thought that would be the last thing they did together before he went back home to his penthouse, but he got a pleasant surprise once he stood up to excuse himself.  _"You can stay here, ya know. It's getting late."_

That was nothing much, but this was Izaya he was talking about,  _the Izaya_  and even if it wasn't, he'd never had a ton of friends throughout his life to begin with. Sleeping over somewhere wasn't as normal for him as it had been for Shizuo when they were younger. So, with much hesitation and anxiety on his part, he'd agreed to staying one night.

The two got to the guest room and Izaya stood in the middle of it, his arms spread out at his sides. "Behold, your humble abode! Ya know, even if you're about as rich as me, you probably have less in your actual room than this one does." Izaya pointed out, looking around the room again before shrugging, making Kasuka shake his head with a small, inward smile. For as composed and cynical as he comes off in public, Izaya acted like a big kid with too much energy sometimes when alone.

Kasuka looked around as well as he walked passed, sitting on the edge of his bed with tired laugh. "Thanks for this, Izaya. And thanks for today." he announced, getting a smile in return before it turned into Izaya's signature smirk.

"It's nothing. You're a very tolerable human, so I don't want you to get boring anytime soon, understand?" the informant reprimanded, getting a nod out of him.

"Understood. No moping around." Kasuka replied, watching Izaya head to the door.

"There's a bathroom connected right over there, so feel free to use it. Goodnight, Kasuka." "Goodnight, Izaya." And then he was left alone again.

Without Izaya to talk to things seemed even more quiet than before, even if neither of them made too much noise to begin with. The actor sat on the edge of the bed for a little bit, thinking over today's events before stripping down to his jeans and getting in bed.  _Stop feeling sorry for yourself. You told Shizuo the truth and knew he was going to be mad about it sooner or later. There's no changing anything that's already happened either, so you just have to deal with it. Go to sleep, think later._

And so he closed his eyes.

* * *

_Everything had started out just fine. He was sleeping peacefully, his dreams going wonderfully as he imagined himself back home, hanging out with Izaya as he dared the man to play some video game he liked. At first Izaya didn't want to play it, thinking it looked stupid, but he'd convinced him anyway by saying that it was supposed to be an impossible game yet Shizuo could beat it easily if you just gave him enough time._

_That got Izaya to play it just out of spite. And Kasuka had been next to him the whole time as he watched Izaya pout and get mad at the game for being completely unbeatable. Apparently in his dreams he was a bit more bold, since he scooted over continuously until he was pressed against Izaya's side and had his arm around his waist comfortably. The ravenett didn't seem to mind either as he kept playing, leaning his head on his shoulder as he focused and let Kasuka stare at him._

_Right when he was about to get mad again for the game killing him off, Kasuka tilted his head and leaned in, right about to press their lips together- BAM!_

_He never got to see if Izaya would kiss him back or not, since Shizuo was suddenly there, having kicked in the door and was currently pulling them apart. The elder sibling threw Kasuka to the side, even in his dreams not wanting to physically harm him, and instead going for Izaya. Strong hands wrapped around Izaya's neck despite Kasuka screaming for him to stop and trying to pry his brother away. Nothing he did worked or changed anything and without realizing it at first, the informant had stopped moving._

* * *

Kasuka shot straight up in bed, hands flying up to cover his mouth before he could let out any kind of noise he knew he'd been about to make. Most likely a scream that he definetly didn't want to wake Izaya with.

For a few moments Kasuka sat just like that, hands over his mouth while he took in small gasps of air, forcing himself to calm down before he relaxed slowly and eventually laid back in bed. "It's a dream. It wasn't real and it's not going to be real. Izaya's strong.. And Shizuo.. Shizuo would never do that, never..." he muttered to himself, feeling his eyes get heavy as he wanted to sleep again with no nightmares. But he knew from past experience that it would either repeat again or get worse if he did that, so he kept his eyes open and looked at the clock on the nightstand.  _5:14 a.m.. Not suspiciously early._

The teen sighed softly, looking up at the ceiling for a second before wondering if he should get up. As he thought about it, he didn't want to move very much at all. His limbs were heavy from moving so suddenly a moment ago, he felt like he could fall asleep again at any moment and honestly it was just plain cold in the room around him and he didn't want to leave the covers just yet.

After pondering it another moment, he got an idea and reached over the side of the bed for his hoodie, grabbing his phone out of his pocket.

**[Good morning, sunshine.]**

The small sound of a chime was heard in the background of the guest room.

**[Kasuka, why the fuck are you texting me? I'm literally next door.]**

**[Don't care, humans invented texting for a reason.]**

**[Ugh.. And I was having such a lovely dream too...]**

**[Did that dream happen to involve dropping your boss off a cliff?]**

**[It may have... But seriously, I'm right next door. Just knocking would have woke me ya know.]**

**[I know, but it's cold. Go turn on the heater.]**

**[You're an awful house guest, ya know that?]**

Despite Izaya's words, he could still hear the sound of a door opening down the hallway and footsteps as well.

**[Yes, I know. That's why you can be as awful as you want when I invite you over next time.]**

There was a small hum somewhere before Kasuka heard the air turn on, letting him know Izaya had actually agreed about it being cold.

**[Sounds like a plan, Heiwajima. I warn you, I won't go easy. And in advance, I demand there be at least 3 orders of Ootoro waiting for me.]**

Kasuka couldn't stop himself from smiling, sitting up with the blanket around him as he continued texting Izaya from where he was. He could already feel himself waking up from before and letting the nightmare slip to the back of his mind.

**[Yes, your majesty, I'll make sure to remember that.]**


	23. Clear Your Mind

_ [Izaya's POV] _

The informant didn't mind at all when Kasuka woke him up that morning, actually expecting the text to be something depressing or letting him know he'd had a nightmare or something. That was natural after breaking down like the actor had done yesterday but the stupid conversation they shared made him smile to himself proudly.

_Not only am I smart, I can help people~ Fuck you world!_

And so he also didn't mind getting up at an early hour and starting his day, wondering when Kasuka would come down to join him for breakfast. They kept texting each other as the ravenett turned on the heater, blushing and pouting when Kasuka called him by a new nickname. Then the texts stopped again and Izaya was beginning to get bored on his own before Kasuka finally stepped into the kitchen with his hair dripping wet from using the man's shower. "Good morning."

"Good morning, Heiwajima. You can raid my pantry for something to eat if you don't want eggs, 'kay?" Izaya asked, focusing on his cooking the minute he realized Kasuka was shirtless. He didn't have a problem with it, obviously, it was just surprising to not see Kasuka covered up when he'd always seemed so private.

"Alright." And the two dipped into comfortable silence yet again, doing their own thing as they made sure they wouldn't starve that morning. "You don't have a whole lot of food here, do you?" Kasuka finally asked, after he went through the cabinets and none of them seemed anywhere near full. Izaya just shrugged.

"Nah, not really. I don't eat a lot on my own so I never needed to buy more than what I wanted just then." he muttered, distracted by the thought that from now on he should probably buy more. Waking up and knowing someone was waiting to talk to you was a very.. surprisingly pleasant thing to feel, so he wouldn't mind inviting Kasuka to stay the night more often.

The two ate breakfast, not knowing what else to do they went in the living room to watch TV where Kasuka was quickly distracted by his chest board. "Izaya, what the fuck were you playing?" the actor blurted out, obviously confused by the numerous amounts and types of pieces littered around the board. To Kasuka it probably looked like he'd tried to invent a whole new game himself, which he technically did, but the informant knew better.

"That's just uh.." Izaya trailed off instantly, not knowing where to go with that sentence. "It's hard to explain." was all he said, suddenly realizing as much sense as it made to himself, there was no way he could actually have it make sense to another person. He stood by Kasuka and looked over the board, noticing that it hadn't been moved for a while since he'd been cooped up inside for weeks without much outward progress. "Just think of these pieces as people we know; Shinra, me, you, Shizuo, Watane, etc. This moves like they do, so to speak." he muttered, still trying to put together in his head how else he could say it.

He'd never even fully explained it to Namie before, even if his assistant never cared to ask, but he'd seen her staring at it quite a few times with an increasingly confused look which always made him laugh.

"So these are people?" "Yup." "Which one are you?" "The King, of course!" "Mhm.. Which one am I?" Izaya glanced at him before looking down at the board, not having markings on them and just knowing where he would be by mental-map. When he realized where Kasuka's piece was, he blinked and instantly lied. "You're the Knight over here." "Cool."

And it continued like that, Izaya happy to explain the workings of his little web while Kasuka looked completely interested in figuring out Izaya's head. The ravenett glanced at the board again between explanations, cursing himself for putting anyone in the place of 'Queen' at all.

* * *

The two were watching Sketch Comedy a couple hours after that, both of them laughing their heads off comfortably before Kasuka would occasionally zone out, staring off into space above the television before he was snapped back to attention by the informant's laughter. And it didn't happen frequently but enough for Izaya to notice something was off. "Heiwajima, you have the worst attention span I've ever seen." he announced, getting the man's attention again before lowering the volume on the TV and looking at him. "What's wrong with you?"

Kasuka stared at him for a minute, shrugging like that would make the question go away. Izaya raised a brow at him and kept waiting, having amazing patience in situations that suited him. The ravenett glanced at him again and just shrugged once more. "It's nothing, really, I just can't focus.""And why would that be?" Kasuka shrugged again, making Izaya tap him on the head.

"The more you avoid a question, the more interested the other person becomes. I'm naturally curious so you're already screwed, just tell me." Izaya persisted, seeing Kasuka smile at that.  _There's the real Kasuka._

"I guess my head's just jumbled up. I haven't done yoga like usual in two days." Kasuka admitted, seeing the man stare at him blankly.

"Why didn't you say so? If you wanna do yoga no one's stopping you. It would give me the chance to spread out on my couch again." "It's your couch, spread out if you want." "You're in the way, Heiwajima." "Like you really care about my personal space."

And after their usual bickering, Kasuka was on the floor beside the couch doing his usual routine. It was way behind schedule apparently, but from the glances Izaya cast at him while doing it, he already looked more at ease.  _Strange human._

Izaya continued watching television quietly while Kasuka did his own thing, definetly not being distracted by the small noises that came from the actor whenever he shifted into a new position. He tried not to watch, knowing the whole point was for Kasuka to get his head together and relax, something staring would do the opposite of, but eventually he stopped turning back to the TV and just kept watch over Kasuka as he was half-way done.

The informant even flipped onto his stomach to watch him better, wondering how any of this was supposed to relax someone when it seemed almost painful to do. He knew for a fact that his own body was flexible but he doubted he could turn into a fucking pretzel like that. As he kept watching, he noticed Kasuka was starting to get tired, probably from all the effort it took to keep himself in one painful position for so long. The actor finally collapsed out of the position he was in and sat cross-legged on the floor, panting softly as he caught the breath he'd been holding.

"If you keep staring like that, I'm going to make you participate." Kasuka finally announced, making Izaya focus again. He looked up at the actor and huffed, rolling to be on his back again, turning the TV to regular volume.

"No thanks, Heiwajima. I'd rather not get all sweaty like you." He wasn't lying. After all, sweat was disgusting and far below him, even when he went on city-wide chases with Shizuo. If the informant had looked up then he would have caught Kasuka blushing finally, embarrassed and happy from the attention he'd gotten.

"Suit yourself, but you seemed pretty interested." was all Kasuka said as he stood up and went towards the stairs, asking if he could take another shower so he didn't get sweat on Izaya's furniture. Once he was out of sight, Izaya glanced at the stairs where he'd been, a small blush coming onto his cheeks as he realized he'd been staring at Kasuka for nearly 20 minutes earlier, practically admiring his body.  _At least I was actually thinking about yoga.. That still doesn't make up for it, does it?_

He shook his head and sat up a bit, walking out onto the veranda and looking down at the street to observe his many humans.  _Since when did I get attached to just one?_


	24. Dreams Are Sometimes Not

_ [Izaya's POV] _

The informant trotted happily down the street, smirking to himself in satisfaction as he was heading home from an assignment.  _Gullible, silly, predictable little humans~_

He'd finally been given one that interested him and it had gone so well, he wondered if it would be appropriate to invite someone over to Russia Sushi with him as a pat on the back. They'd be paying, of course, since he's the one that did all the work.

As he was beginning to think of it as a better and better idea, it being noon and him being hungry, he went through the short list of people he could invite - Kasuka being the one he stopped at.  _Well, he is busy today.. Fucking signings, being all the way on the other side of Japan._ And so he continued down the street on his way home, thinking he could just get take out for his home instead.

Minutes passed gleefully by until he suddenly realized he was still in Ikebukuro and nothing was being thrown at him. Sure, he didn't  _want_  things thrown at himself, but it was more than welcome for him to have a little chase with the beast after so long. He thought for a few moments on what could be keeping him from attempting to stomp all over Izaya's grave before continuing, going the long route of the town since that could possibly give the beast a couple more chances to find him.

But he got to his destination unscathed and with no destruction waiting behind him to make up for it.

Izaya huffed, stepping inside and getting what he wanted before wishing Simon good luck with the sale he had going on. He hadn't talked with the Russian very much either in all of these weeks, slowly letting his number of 'friends' dwindle as he got more stuff on his plate. The series already had another 7 episodes under it's belt that had aired, getting more attention on him and Kasuka than ever since they were the main protagonists and though the series was already a pretty intense set-up, they hadn't even gotten to one of the plot-twists that was sure to get them major attention- good and bad.

Once that happened, Izaya would have to dress up even more often and go to signings as well, maybe interviews and all of those various things. The ravenett let out a sigh as he imagined himself being stuck in more uncomfortable dresses like he had been lately, one of the points in their show being to sneak into festivities like charity events, which were awfully stuffy.

He berated the whole idea of this in his mind until suddenly he was thrown off his feet and into an alleyway, wind knocked out of him at the punch. "Ugh, what the fuck.." he muttered as he sat up quickly, opening his eyes and looking at his attacker before freezing.

Shizuo had finally decided to show up and catch him off guard, the air practically steaming as he walked closer and making Izaya wonder how he could have not realized he was coming. "I-za-ya-kuuuun.." came the growl he'd come to honor, since it meant a fight and entertainment from his favorite form of it, but now it irked him. He stayed where he was as Shizuo got closer, eyes narrowing and his hands clenching before he suddenly sprung up and punched Shizuo right in the face.

Shizuo didn't punch Izaya and Izaya hadn't used his flick-blade on him, no it was almost the opposite, and once they both realized that they quickly separated. Izaya took out his usual weapon of choice and Shizuo stood with his hands in his pockets, looking like he was still trying to piece together what happened. Izaya couldn't actually blame the guy, he'd surprised himself by putting his body in such a vulnerable area. And it's not like the punch even made a bruise on the other..

The informant finally couldn't stand the silence, feeling unnaturally tense. "What took you so long, Shizu-chan? Is that sense of smell finally breaking down?" he taunted, hoping to get them back into a usual fight. If he could just rile him up and run like normal, he would be happy for the day and he could just forget about this. He wouldn't have to bring it up to Kasuka or anyone else and it can be just like it used to be.

Shizuo obviously didn't think the same way. "Nah, I smelled ya, ya damn flea. I just had to wait until I saw ya, since you infected my little brother." the other growled, eye twitching behind his shades. And while usually Izaya would smirk and make a comeback, he just couldn't. Shizuo took a couple steps closer while Izaya matched his steps going backwards, flick-blade ready for use as they stared at the other. "So tell me, Izaya. Just what the fuck were you planning on doing to Kasuka after you tricked him like that, huh? I need an answer, flea, or I won't know which way is the best to kill you." the blond announced, making Izaya's grip tighten again.

"I didn't plan anything." he muttered, wondering why he had the urge to punch the man again instead of run. All he got in response was a growl before a punch was aimed at his face, easily dodged because of the distance between them. He hopped over the blond and tried to make his escape, finally pushing his other thoughts to the back of his mind, but something caught the back of his jacket and he was thrown back down the alley again towards a chain fence.

"Why are you so slow, flea? You're acting weird too." Shizuo pointed out, cracking his knuckles as he inched closer to the crouching informant as Izaya looked for a way out.  _I'm out of practice, fuck.. Shiki, if I get out of this you're dead._  "Maybe you finally feel guilty for being a scumbag. You wanna die, flea?" the blond asked, for once being the one to taunt since he was in a position to. The informant gritted his teeth and backed up again slowly, trying to match everything the other did as usual, eyes still scanning passed him for something to help himself.

"Even if I did, Shizu-chan, you could never kill me. The beast always thinks he's a hero." Izaya taunted, standing up straight and smirking, trying to be like his old self again. If he couldn't get passed Shizuo by only means of escape, murderous rage could be a way out as well. And just like he expected, the blond started throwing another punch, letting Izaya dodge again and again until he slipped under Shizuo's arm, running again and getting only so far before Shizuo threw a large garbage can at him, along with a fire-escape at his legs. The larger item was surprisingly easier to dodge and just when he thought he was in the clear, the fire-escape caught his ankle and made him smack straight into the floor.

_Shiki is so dead!_

Shizuo was right behind him, having been ready for a chase, but now all he did was slam his heel onto Izaya's already hurt ankle, making the informant let out a small hiss of pain, refusing to cry out from something the beast did. The debt collector reached down and picked him up by the throat, slamming him against the wall with ease and glaring at him, grinning like he'd finally won.

"You're going to die today, flea. And you're never going to bother me again." With that, the grip on his neck slowly got tighter, making Izaya squirm and quickly grab for his spare flick-blade. It slid into his hand from his sleeve and he opened it, slashing Shizuo's chest and shirt with it before his other hand was grabbed. He'd obviously made a deep cut, deeper than any other wound he'd previously left on the man himself, but apparently since he was right where the beast wanted him, pain was no longer a factor.

His hand was pinned to the wall beside his head and the grip got tighter again, slowly cutting off Izaya's air and actually making him panic. "I want my brother back, you fucking pest. And once I get him again, no one will miss you."

"I never stole you brother Shizu-chan, I stole Kasuka. If you really can't see that then you should never have had him in the first place." he choked out, sputtering and wheezing as he tried to regain air again. It didn't come and slowly darkness creeped into his vision.


	25. Leave Me Be

_ [Izaya's POV] _

Ruby eyes opened slightly, eye lids heavy and vision blurry as he wondered where he was. For the moment it felt like he was floating on air, his head was light and all around him it was almost too bright to see, making him shut his eyes again. The informant tried to ask where he was but the minute he even breathed a bit deeper a pain shot down his throat, making him groan. Which obviously didn't help..

He laid there for a while longer, somewhere between awake and asleep, until finally when he opened his eyes his vision was clear and he could actually think a little bit. He moved his hand a little to feel what was under him and he discovered fabric, making him look around just to confirm it. Izaya laid in a white room, uncomfortable medical table under him but covered with a blanket, probably from his rescuer who thought it would help.

He waited a bit longer, blinking rapidly when his head swam again and he looked at the door as someone came through. It was Shinra.

"Hey, you're finally awake! That's amazing! For a while I thought you were gonna go into a coma." the doctor babbled, running over to his friend's side and getting in his face. "Do you feel alright? Has the medicine wore off?" he asked, taking his pulse at the same time.

Izaya shifted a little to see if anything else hurt, a twinge in his ankle making him groan again. "I feel like shit, Shinra." he got out, and he jolted when he suddenly realized how unlike himself he sounded. His voice was raspy and quiet and it hurt to get air out, but as he slowly remembered why he was here, he wasn't surprised at all.

"Shinra, what happened?" he mumbled, really wishing he had one of those tiny white-boards with him so he could write on it. The doctor sighed softly as he messed with an IV bag attached to Izaya's arm, refilling it with something.

"Shizuo strangled you and you almost died, but he backed out for some reason and left you in an alley. When he got here I treated him and when I was done he called Kadota to pick you up in his group's van." the brunet explained, looking at him again. "Well.. He didn't really call them to pick you up, per say, he said there was something interesting to see on 5th. But they went and found you and brought you here."

"I see.." Izaya nodded lightly, staring at the ceiling again as he waited for the medicine to kick in, wanting the pain to be gone as soon as possible.  _Stupid Shizu-chan, I told you you couldn't do it..._  "So, will I be able to go home soon or what?" he finally asked, wanting to be back in his own bed for the healing process instead of a medical bay. At his straight-forwardness, Shinra just smiled.

"You can go home the day after tomorrow, I just need to keep watch on you for a while to see if any of your motor skills were effected by the lack of oxygen. In the meantime, I want you to do a couple mental exercises to double check that too." Shinra announced, looking all too happy to keep Izaya stuck in the bed for the day. The informant just let out another groan and did as he asked, already feeling exhausted again.

* * *

After a whole day of being watched and examined, Shinra deemed him stable enough to be on his own, giving him a container of pills and vitamins before letting him go home again. Izaya got there as quickly as possible and dropped his medicine on the dresser, staring at the gauze wrapped around his neck for a moment in the mirror before moving to lay down.

_Kasuka won't like this at all.._ he thought to himself as he rested his eyes, knowing the moment Kasuka came to hang out again he'd see the bandages or the bruises and he'd probably ask a million questions. The ravenett didn't look like the type to, obviously, but Izaya had a feeling he'd do it anyway. _I am an informant, I could just say it was a gang that got involved with my boss and wanted something from him... But even he's smart enough to know if it was a gang then he would have even more damage done to him than a few bruises on his neck and a twisted ankle._

_And then there's work.. Once we go back to film tomorrow, everyone's going to be worrying about who hurt their little heroine. They'll be asking questions, trying to find the culprit, adding security to my room probably.. It'll be awful._

Izaya opened his eyes again, feeling tired but not wanting to sleep when he knew the only thing to wake him up would be pain later on. He reached into his pocket and found one of his flick-blades, the other one probably lost back in that alley, and his cell-phone. He took them both out and stared at them, his mind working what to do next as he had too few yet too many options in front of him.

He knew for a fact that some text messages were waiting for him, having heard the buzzing all throughout yesterday while he was at Shinra's and taking most of his will-power to not answer them. Texting the man wouldn't have been bad obviously, but he just didn't know what to say to him at the moment. Shizuo had hurt him not even a week ago and now the blond had come after his friend because of the argument they'd had. And the informant didn't even know all about the argument! Every time Izaya had asked what set Shizuo off in the first place, he was met with silence until finally he'd given up and just thought of it as a very personal matter.

Suddenly, he was thrown out of his thoughts by the phone ringing. He didn't recognize the number, but no real harm in answering it. He clicked call and got out a greeting, trying to sound as confident and strong as usual. The best he got was not sounding like a dead cat.

"Looks like you aren't dead yet, flea. You got some fucking questions to answer." Quickly, the informant hung up and turned off his phone, wanting to talk to his attacker even less than he wanted to talk to Kasuka.  _Stupid Heiwajimas.. Someone please kill me for real this time.._


	26. Denial Comes In All Forms

_ [Izaya's POV] _ _(There's been lots of that, huh?)_

Izaya groaned as he was roused from sleep, eyes barely wanting to open as tried to put together what was happening. "5 more minutes.." he mumbled, trying to roll away from whoever was near him, thinking it might be Kasuka sleeping over again and he was just too out of it to remember.

"You have five seconds, flea." was all Shizuo needed to say for Izaya to jump out of bed. Really, he fell straight on his ass and nearly hit his head on the floor but he was too distracted with crawling away to care.

"Why the fuck are you in my house!?" he shouted, awake enough to move but his mind being suspiciously fuzzy. When had he fallen asleep? Oh yeah, after taking all of Shinra's prescribed medicine and never having asked the side effects of them. One being that it put the taker to sleep within an hour.  _Fucking great._

Shizuo stared at him blankly with a scowl. "I told you over the phone, you have some fucking questions to answer."

"And I hung up on you for a reason, Shizu-chan. Get out of my house! And how did you even get in here?" Izaya demanded, leaning forward again to grab his flick-blade before Shizuo could realize it was on the bed. He knew he'd probably screw up while using it until the drugs wore off a bit more but he could at least look capable of a fight.

"Flea, it's a door, not a fucking brick wall. And even if it was, I can punch through it." the blond said, moving around the bed and making to grab Izaya's arm, who quickly jumped away after slashing at his hand. "You fucking pest, I'm trying very hard not to punch you as it is! Now hold still or fucking follow me!" Shizuo growled, teeth gritting as he said this.

"Like I would trust you after you literally tried to kill me. AND broke into my house after failing to do so." Izaya huffed, watching the beast as he stayed where he was, not having a comeback for that one. They stared at each other for a few minutes before Shizuo took a deep breath, obviously still trying to control his temper.

"I'm going in the living room. Trust me or not, you have to go out there sometime." Shizuo decided, turning and walking out the door while Izaya watched him in surprised silence.  _That.. was almost too easy.. Maybe he does actually want to talk._

Even if he thought that, he couldn't bring himself to go out there quite yet. The informant sat on his bed instead, looking at the door and listening for any sounds that would tell him Shizuo is coming back. Nothing happened.

_Why does this happen to me? I have a beast in my house, it hurts to fucking breathe, I'm scared to even go in my own living room! And if I go down there and just deal with him, I'm going to have to sit through his protozoan-like questions and probably get strangled again... I could just call Shiki._

Izaya almost beamed at the idea, wanting nothing more than to get something in return for all the extra work he'd been putting in lately and having Shizuo get transported to Siberia or somewhere like that where he would never be a bother again. It would be lovely.. Izaya even glanced back at his phone, wondering if he should turn it on and call, just like that.

But then, he couldn't.  _If Shiki takes him, he'll probably die and then Kasuka would hate me just as much. There's never an easy answer, huh? ..._

Izaya sighed again, taking one last moment to himself before gripping his flick-blade and walking out of the room, standing at the top of the stairs to see Shizuo waiting... patiently, he supposed, on the couch. Sure he still looked incredibly tense, but at least he wasn't stomping back up the stairs already. He spared a glance at his door and, thankfully, did not see a huge hole in it like he'd imagined. The door was hanging open a bit, the lock obviously broken, but it was a much easier fix than getting a whole new door.

The informant rubbed his eyes as he composed himself, walking down the stairs with a neutral expression and sitting on the chair furthest from Shizuo. Even if they were going to talk like civil people, he didn't trust the man one bit with obvious reason. "Alright, Shizu-chan. I'm listening, what do you want?" he demanded, not wanting the blond in his home any longer than necessary.

The debt collector looked like he didn't want to be there either. "What the fuck did you mean by 'I didn't steal your brother, I stole Kasuka'?" he asked, glaring at Izaya the whole time. Izaya couldn't even stop himself from letting out a sound of disbelief.

"All of this, and that's the stupid question you wanted to ask me? Really?" He spat out, too tired from being injured, taken care of by an idiot and a headless horsewoman, then being woken up from his sleep and terrified to even care if Shizuo slowly got angrier. "I meant, I can be here and you still have your precious little brother. I have Kasuka, the one that laughs and tells jokes and smiles and is freakishly sassy when he wants to be - and you have your little brother, the Kasuka that sits there and nods and keeps you from getting yourself killed. I'd say you can keep that side of him, but you don't even deserve that." Izaya finished, the last sentence slipping out in a whisper as he actually felt himself getting angry.

He was burning a hole into his own hands at his point, childishly pressed into the back of his chair as he ranted, and he didn't look until Shizuo was already standing. "What was that, flea?" the blond growled, getting no response as Izaya stared at him. He slowly started walking towards the ravenett. "You think you're better than me because you can trick my little brother? Is that fucking it?"

"I never said that Shizu-chan." Izaya stated, surprisingly calm even with the anger in his voice. Shizuo just kept walking towards him until he was towering over him.

"Then what the fuck did you just say?" "I said you don't deserve any side of him!" "And why would that be, huh!? You think you deserve him!?"

Shizuo lunged forward and picked Izaya up by the front of his shirt before he could dodge, making them equal with Izaya barely touching ground. "You think you deserve him after all the shit you've pulled!? You got people killed, you've caused people to kill themselves, you're causing a fucking war in Ikebukuro for your own entertainment and you think you deserve to be anywhere near my little brother!?"

"At least, I make him happy Shizu-chan. He came to me for comfort after that little argument you had." Izaya announced, glaring at him and gripping Shizuo's wrists so the blond wouldn't think to move them unexpectedly. "He came here and started crying, all because of you. I haven't done a damn thing to him this entire time and you're blaming-"

"I don't care what you say. You must have done something." Shizuo interrupted, looking like he was about on the brink of not being able to hold back his anger anymore. Izaya was just glad he had a hold of his shirt this time instead of his throat. "I know you, I have since high-school and I made it perfectly clear that you're evil. You're a pest and you deserve to be killed, he knows that! So you must have done something, fucking anything, because there's no way my brother would ever love someone like you without being tricked into it!" With that, Shizuo released his hold on Izaya and dropped him back into the chair, pulling his arm back.

Izaya barely registered the yell from behind Shizuo and someone else running into the room before he shut his eyes and waited for the blow.


	27. Catch Your Breath

_ [Kasuka's POV] _

Kasuka sat in front of a sea of people, trying to ignore the many flashing cameras around him and focus on the pictures and papers and various memorabilia being shoved in front of him to sign. He'd already been there for 2 hours and he was sure his signature didn't look anywhere near as fancy or neat as it had in the very beginning, but who could blame him? Everyone's hands got tired eventually.

He finally got a break some moments later, sighing silent relief as he scampered off to somewhere quieter. The actor dropped into a chair and rested his head in his hands, wishing he could just take a small nap before going back there. But his break was only 10 minutes, so any kind of nap he got was only going to make him irritable after being woken up.

So instead he took out his phone and sent Izaya a couple texts, hoping he wasn't busy at the moment so they could chat. He waited until the end of his break before sending another one to his crush, then was rushed out the door and back into his seat, giving nods to his fans.

Finally after another 3 hours, he was done with it for the day, getting sent back to his hotel. He was obviously glad to be finished, but when he checked his phone to see no replies at all, he frowned. "He's not THAT busy." Kasuka muttered, then instantly felt bad and sent another text asking where the man was. "I mean, he could be. His boss doesn't sound too forgiving or anything.. If I don't get something before bed, I'll call him." he decided, worried that he was acting clingy but also just wanting to hear the man's voice.

* * *

The ravenett blankly watched the TV in front of him, barely remembering what he was watching or what the plot was since he was so tired. It was only 7 p.m. but he'd felt drained since 3 o'clock and was honestly surprised he hadn't fallen asleep without realizing it yet.  _Wouldn't be the first time._

But whenever he was awake enough to remember, he would cast glances at his phone and check it to see if there was a missed call or text. Still nothing.. With another glance at the time, Kasuka quickly typed in Izaya's number and moved to lay down in his bed, knowing he had to call now or else he'd definetly fall asleep before getting the chance. When he received no answer he called again, frowning and worriedly tapping his fingers.  _Fuck, still no answer.. Fine, I'll leave a message._

"Hey, Izaya! Was just wondering what you've been up to all day. Must've been pretty time-consuming, since you haven't checked your phone.. Whenever you get the chance, just text me so I know you aren't dead. I'll see ya in 2 days, bye." he announced, not really having anything else to say. After that he hung up, setting the phone down in front of him on the side table and almost falling asleep before his body thought it wasn't time for bed yet and made him jolt hard enough to wake up again.

"Fuckin'.." he grumbled and stared blankly at the wall before opening his phone again and turning it to the highest volume. "Just in case." he mumbled sleepily, curling up again and this time falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

Amber eyes shot open at the sound of his phone ringing, his hand blindly fumbling for it before he answered.  _Please be Izaya._ But his hopes weren't answered.

"Hanejima-san! Where are you, you were supposed to call us an hour ago! The photo shoot is gonna start at noon, if you aren't dressed then-" Kasuka wasn't even listening, running his hand over his eyes as he tried to wake up some more, frowning at the bad feeling that had settled in his stomach.

"Actually sir, I was just about to call you. I know it's awful timing, but I think some of the hotel food was bad, I don't feel very well. Since we've had problems with these photographers before there should be no qualms about cancelling and getting better ones back near the set, right?" Kasuka improvised, actually happy that the man had woken him up so abruptly. With how tired and worried he felt, it was easy as pie to get the man to believe he was sick. Obviously it took a bit more convincing, seeing as they would need to get tickets and all that for the plane back if Kasuka wanted to make it home before late afternoon but he settled it quickly.

"No, no. I don't need security with me on the plane, I blend in well. And my driver will be more than happy to pick me up once I land as well, no worries, sir." Kasuka dismissed, getting very little agreement before he simply hung up.

Without wasting time, he found his laptop and turned it on, making use of the delay it had to pack up what little he'd taken out of his bags. Then he got tickets, confirming the payment and went out the door.

He tried not to worry over Izaya too much, the man could take care of himself. He was just worried about the anxiety he was feeling, wondering where it came from and why he felt so nervous about going home.

* * *

The feeling hadn't even gone away during his flight, just making him tense and unable to sleep even a little bit while on the plane. He was still tired from being woken up so suddenly, making him sluggish and definetly not helping.

He'd tried distracting himself, taking out his laptop when allowed to and playing a couple games he had installed. He kept playing until they only had 15 minutes till landing and got very little help from it, stowing away his things and huffing as everyone seemed to be moving too slowly for his liking though he didn't voice his opinion. It wouldn't help himself if he'd suddenly gotten attention on him and looked like an ass while he was at it.

So he shuffled along until finally he could trot passed everyone and right out of the airport.

"Would you like to go home?" Toren, his driver, asked him as he settled in his seat, almost feeling better already now that he didn't have to deal with anyone else and he could get away. He was about to say yes before he took a second and pulled out his phone again, stopping himself from frowning.

"Actually, could you take me back to Kobayashi-san's place? I have a souvenir for her." he lied, hoping Toren hadn't been working with him long enough to know something was up. And even though the man didn't ask him about it, he could still tell he'd been given a worried glance.

The drive was silent and it only gave Kasuka more time to realize he felt awful. He dropped his head back in his hands, noticing they were shaking slightly as he tried to take deep breathes, the air around him feeling thick for some reason. Kasuka lifted his head to look out the window, glancing around before dropping his head again, feeling sick. "Toren, how long till we get there?" he suddenly asked, needing to be on solid ground again.

"Just a few more minutes. Why?" the man replied, trying to look at him in the rear-view when he got no response. It was quiet again until they got to the front of Izaya's building almost 5 minutes later, Kasuka coughing out a 'thanks' before hopping out of the car and heading inside, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. His head was beginning to hurt and he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment to focus before getting on the elevator and mashing the button, hands still shaking. "Fuck!" he cursed to himself, combing his fingers through his own hair to try and calm himself down, feeling sick as he realized he was having a panic attack.

_Two fucking years and NOW I have one. Great._ he thought to himself, impatiently watching the number get higher before he was let out, pacing towards Izaya's door as he tried not to let his thoughts get out of hand. That effort went out the window when he saw Izaya's door hanging open, coupled with the fact the man hadn't answered him during two whole days.  _Fuck.. fuck! He's dead, no!_

Kasuka quickly picked up his pace until he was running towards the door and went inside, ignoring the pounding in his head as he finally saw Izaya, alive and well. Sort of.

The minute he also noticed his brother standing in front of him, he didn't think twice about running at him and knocking into his side, causing the punch Shizuo had aimed at Izaya to knock into the lamp instead, smashing it on the ground. It broke apart and small shards spread out between them, cutting into Kasuka's arm as he tried to catch himself. "Kasuka!"

The actor couldn't even recognize if it had been Izaya or Shizuo to call for him, but he just pulled himself up as best he could and looked at his brother, the pounding in his head telling him he was going to pass out. He could barely think, let alone know what he was supposed to do next. But he did realize Shizuo was in front of him, reaching to help him, and without telling himself to he'd suddenly smacked the blond's hand away to keep himself from being touched. "Don't come near me.." he demanded, trying to stop the pain in his head and breath again. If he didn't he'd die. At least that's what his head told him.

"Kasuka, stop! You're bleeding!" came from behind him and suddenly there were two arms around him, trying to get him to sit down. "Kasuka, look at me, what's happening?" came the same voice, and as soon as he looked up again it was Izaya, trying to keep him still as he held his unsteady hands.

The ravenett was like a deer caught in the headlights and he couldn't think of what to say, mindlessly opening and closing his mouth as he tried to get something out. Shizuo came up to him again, this time in complete concern, but he panicked again and lashed out at the hand coming towards him, his throat closing instead of letting him make a sound.

"Shizuo, I think you should leave." was all he heard of a mumbled conversation and he looked around suddenly when he felt Izaya holding him close, watching Kasuka's blond sibling back out of Izaya's home with a look of complete shame and horror. Kasuka almost wanted to shout that he was sorry, but he just stayed where he was, shaking in Izaya's arms as he wished for the pounding in his head to stop.

It slowly did but he felt dizzy and sick, once again trying to take deep breaths. "Kasuka, are you alright? Do you need anything?" the ravenett beside him demanded, trying to get Kasuka to look at him while he spoke. He didn't want to speak, he didn't think he could at the moment, but eventually he got out a couple babbles for the man to get him some ice.

"Alright, don't move." the informant replied, standing up and getting him some in a glass before coming back and handing it to him. Kasuka inwardly assumed that Izaya had the most confused or surprised look on his face when the actor dumped it into his hands, cupping the ice tightly and letting it melt there, the freezing of his hands making him continue shivering but distracting him from everything else.

It was completely silent as he kept sitting there like that, shuddering, but Izaya did soon come back to his side and held him again. It was welcome, letting him know he was safe again and in caring hands. The progress was slow but soon his head stopped pounding completely, only leaving behind a bad headache, and he could take longer breathes as well, letting Izaya know he could let go.

"Are you better? Do you need more ice?" the informant asked, obviously freaked out by the look on his face. Kasuka thought about it for a second before shrugging, not really knowing if he needed anything or if his panic attack was done. It had been two years since his last one and he forgot during that time if panic attacks could come back in waves or not. Izaya seemed comforted either way, sitting beside him silently before glancing at him again.

"I'm getting a towel and calling Shinra. You should have your arm looked at." the man mumbled, walking away quickly and trotting back to his side not long after that, wrapping the towel around his arm and up to his hands, letting him warm them again after the ice had frozen them.

"Uh, uhm.. sorry about your carpet, Izaya." Kasuka got out finally, glancing at the floor in front of him where the water had dripped from the melting ice. Izaya just looped his arm with Kasuka's and gave him a small smile.

"It's water, don't worry about it. We can fix the floor and the lamp once you're alright." the informant dismissed, making Kasuka nod absently before moving to lean on his shoulder, staying there as he heard Izaya talking on the phone and quickly falling asleep where he was as the adrenaline in his system wore off, leaving him unconscious at Izaya's side.


	28. Be Still, My Heart

_ [Kasuka's POV] _

The actor woke up to the feeling of hands moving him, apparently being in a not-so-good position for Shinra to investigate his arm. "Hello, sleepy head! When Izaya told me you knocked out after all of that I got worried. People don't usually pass out during or after a panic attack like that. First times for everything, huh?" the doctor greeted him, babbling on and still shuffling his arms around to get a good look at while he blinked his eyes open.

"Uh.. yeah, I guess." Kasuka mumbled, remembering what happened but not wanting to think about it. It shouldn't have to be said but having a panic attack was definetly not the best feeling, and knowing he'd probably terrified Izaya while having one just made him feel worse.  _At least I stopped Shizuo, right?_

The minute he thought of that, the pit in his stomach got bigger.  _Shizuo.. I'll have to go find him once this is over and apologize. He looked worse than me when he left._ Then the ravenett noticed Shinra was still babbling to him, looking at him for an answer.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" Kasuka asked, sitting up a bit to help the doctor as Shinra pulled out some tweezers, examining how deep the lamp shards were in his arm.

"Haha! I asked if your arm hurts at all. Izaya put some ice on it once you fell asleep, thinking it would numb it, so I was wondering if it worked." he asked, adjusting his glasses as Kasuka shook his head. "Good, then that should make this part a bit easier. It's not gonna be fun though, I warn you.." Shinra mumbled, taking hold of one shard and slowly tugging it out of Kasuka's arm, making the ravenett pale and turn his head away, thinking he was going to throw up.

"What's wrong, are you nauseous?" Shinra asked, stopping suddenly to look at him. Kasuka swallowed before looking at him and shaking his head.

"Um, no, th-the blood." he muttered, turning his head away again since he didn't want to be a nuisance. Shinra just looked at him for a second before chuckling, moving to continue what he was doing a moment ago.

"Just don't look and you should be okay. If you need more blood after this - I doubt it - I'm sure Izaya would be happy to lend you some! You're the same type and he seemed all too happy to be helping you when I came over~" Shinra teased, soon getting knocked in the head with a book as Izaya emerged from the hallway.

"Don't make me sound so mushy, Shinra! He was unconscious, was I supposed to just let him bleed on my stuff?" Izaya huffed. And despite his words, when he looked to see Kasuka so pale he went to sit beside him again, being close enough to touch but not wrapping their arms together again. "Ya need anything? You look sick."

Kasuka smiled a little bit at that, his heart swelling as he noticed Izaya still trying to comfort him, even if someone else was technically in the way of it. "No, I'm good. Thank you." he replied, smiling at him for a moment longer before something caught his eye and he looked down at Izaya's neck, his smile dropping. "Izaya, what happened to your neck?" he asked quickly, not liking the implications that the gauzes gave off.

He noticed Shinra look up at him in surprise and open his mouth to speak, but Izaya cut him off, sending him an even look. "It's nothing, just a gang wanting something extra from my boss. When he said no they decided to give him a little scare using me." the informant said quickly, almost sounding rehearsed. Kasuka just stared at him.

"Izaya, for as well as you do your job, you're awful at lying." he said bluntly, making both of the men look at him. Izaya didn't look him in the eye for a second, glancing at his nails instead and so Kasuka turned to the doctor kneeling in front of him. He noticed the blood again, there now being more of it on the towel he grasped as more shards came out though none of them were too deep and most of the first to be taken care of were already beginning to patch up. He tried to ignore anything colored red at the moment, staring at Shinra's face. "It was Shizuo.. wasn't it?" he asked softly, desperately hoping the man said no. And knowing that Shinra would be the only doctor to care for Izaya, he'd have an answer, lying or not.

The brunet glanced up at him for a second, then at Izaya before focusing solely on Kasuka's wounds. "I see.." Kasuka sighed, leaning back into the couch and staring off at the wall sadly, remembering the dream he'd had not too long ago and how terrified he had felt just waking up from it, knowing it wasn't real and that Izaya was just in the other room. If that awful dream had happened to come true, he had no idea how badly he would react to finding out.  _He could've been dead before I even got on the plane.._

Kasuka had no idea when tears started rolling down his cheeks, but Izaya caught on long before him. "Shinra, are you almost done with his arm?" the man asked beside him, moving to rest his hand on Kasuka's back for comfort.

"Yes, why?" Shinra asked before glancing up at Kasuka, straightening his glasses again before adjusting the towel to wrap around the teen's arm again, having Izaya put pressure on it with his free hand. "I'll give you two a moment." he muttered, standing up and walking towards the hall, probably to grab a fresh towel, seeing as this one was almost soaked through at this point in red.

Izaya turned to him once the man was gone, wiping his tears away lightly. "Kasuka, is everything okay?" Kasuka didn't look at him, not wanting to be weak at the moment when Izaya and Shinra had already helped him so much. The silence obviously wasn't a good enough answer for the informant however, cupping his chin and making him turn his head to look him in the eye. "Kasuka.." he demanded, watching the actor as he turned away again, more tears falling.

"No, everything's not okay. You got hurt because of me." Izaya stared at him with a small, sad smile. "Kasuka, I didn't get hurt because of you. Shizuo always said he was going to kill me, whether I was near you or-" "Izaya, don't fucking lie to me!" Kasuka cut him off harshly, hands turning into fists in his lap as he tried to keep himself at least a little composed. "He hurt you, and from the bandages on your neck he probably strangled you. If he didn't know about us being friends he never would have gone that far. He never did anything like that before all of this, did he?" Kasuka demanded, finally looking up into Izaya's eyes.

The informant looked lost for words at the moment, but soon shook his head. "Exactly.. Just because I stopped him this time doesn't make up for it either." Kasuka mumbled, tears threatening to fall again until he was pulled into Izaya's chest.

Izaya had one arm wrapped around him, the other still having hold of his injury and his face was buried in Kasuka's neck though Kasuka couldn't tell if it was just to not look at him or if it actually made him feel better. "Kasuka.. Shizuo told me that you loved me. Well, shouted it really.. Was he telling the truth?" Izaya mumbled against his shirt, surprising him and making his heart speed up in worry. He knew already that arguing would do no good except let Izaya know what he was thinking, but to be rejected because of it was something he hadn't expected.  _Now he's not going to talk to me either..._

Izaya took his silence as a 'yes' and gave him a small squeeze, pulling him towards him tighter despite what Kasuka expected. "If you really love me, then shouldn't me being alive be enough for you?" Kasuka froze at that, his heart calming down from the previous worry and being replaced with warmth. He moved to wrap his free arm around Izaya's waist and hold him back, eyes still a bit wide from surprise. After a moment, he let out a small smile along with a chuckle.

"Sorry if I'm asking too much of you, but no, it isn't. I don't want a single wound on you ever again..." he admitted, dropping his head a bit to rest his cheek on Izaya's hair. And he was comforted even further when Izaya actually let out a laugh.

"Now that, Kasuka, may be impossible. I can't guarantee I won't get hurt just getting out of bed in the morning!" he warned, giving another small laugh before sitting up again, smiling at the actor beside him. "And um.. honestly, I can't guarantee that I feel the same way about you.. But you are the only person I consider worth trying for." Izaya admitted, running a hand through his hair as he shifted where he sat, letting Kasuka know he was nervous about this as well.

Kasuka just smiled and moved to hold his hand tightly, not being able to wipe the smile off his face. "Well, even if you don't end up feeling the same, I'll have no complaints. I'm the first person to ever have a shot, right?" he asked, grinning to himself when Izaya nodded, cheeks slightly dusted pink at the idea of this entire conversation. "Then I'll try my best to be worthy of staying as well." he promised, wanting to lean forward and kiss the man but knowing even for him that was moving too fast.

Instead, he just leaned over and pressed his lips to the man's cheek softly, pulling back to see Izaya's cheeks get darker before huffing as he wiped off his cheek with his sleeve. "Stupid Heiwajima.." he muttered, making Kasuka smile brighter as he leaned back on the couch. Izaya leaned back as well, looping his arm with Kasuka's comfortably before letting out a small sigh.

"Shinra, you can come back now! If I find a single thing missing from any of my rooms then you're dead!" Izaya shouted towards the hall, watching the entryway until the man came back with a smile and small, carefree chuckle.

"Nothing's missing, nothing's missing. Now, let's get your arm fixed up and wrapped before anything else exciting happens, kay?"


End file.
